Tag Archives: play

How did I use my powers for good?

That was Nathan’s question to me this evening. He was trying to figure out how to reel in our children when they get a bit intense. But I think it also pertains to my now.

Here were my anecdotes.

I told him, just what you see: art, music, sunshine, playing outside, pets, meditation. All the things I do now for calm or serenity.

Then I elaborated.

I told him of playing school or playing house. Building huts out of dining chairs and blankets. Sometimes my brother was told to humor me and play with me, but often I pretended alone, and my checkers bear and other stuffies would take the place of my family or students.

We often played in the sandbox together, running matchbox cars and construction equipment to build a little town. The houses simply being broken plastic Easter eggs, or other objects.

My childhood meditations were laying in sunbeams watching dust flecks float. I told myself they were fairies’ dust.

I colored and painted and drew pictures galore, burning through dozens of coloring books, but also watched Bob Ross everyday when mom slept- up until I started school.

I played on my tiny keyboard for hours, sometimes playing the same handful of notes over and over again. Mom also played music for me. My most notable musical memories were:

1) the Sesame Street kids song album, especially Bert and Ernie’s “Rubber Ducky Song”

And

2) the Burl Ives “Little White Duck” album, especially the song “Muffin Man”

I remember those two albums played on repeat most days. These days my musical repitoire is much more diverse.

Pets, they did everything with me, at least that was inside. (Our kitties growing up were indoor only.) My one kitty even begrudgingly let me dress her in doll dresses, and once in a while I could get her to lay in the doll stroller/crib, though she barely even fit. She was my constant companion and first non-familial love. She was also my reprieve from all the things that stressed me in any way or brought me down emotionally.

I played Barbies and my brother would come wage war on them with his GI Joe’s. When he’d blow them up with a pretend bomb, I would end up with dismembered Barbies that I was incapable of putting back together. I would run crying to Mom and she’d make him fix them. Eventually my Barbies had been exploded so many times they wouldn’t stay together right and legs would just fall off in trying to dress them.

I remembered playing tag of a wide variety with neighbor kids, “hide and go-seek” too. Often running like mad through several yards.

When we got a little older we began collecting legos and I spent many hours of many years building things with legos. I again made lots of houses.

I would hike up dirt piles like mountains, playing king of the mountain with my brother. I would also play under the porch in my own little pretend world.

We built snow forts in winter and had fun snowball fights. My brother would drag me around in the sled because no hills ever existed for us- we didn’t live by any and in winter it was always too dark by the time dad was home to drive to any.

In the summer we swam at the lake and played on the beach, our first access to a pool was when I was in 4th grade and we took swimming lessons for the first time.

Even in school, many of my favorite activities were these handful but brought to current variations with my age. Those are the essential activities that brought me much joy in my childhood.

It seems my handful is still accurate, but now includes yoga and salt baths. I am appreciative that I’ve been able to regain access to my lost loves these past few years. Adulting is much more fun when your spirit gets to play a little.

May you have fun moments of play, even in adulthood. May you see your memories of fun activities as pertinent to your now. May you appreciate the things that bring you joy. May you find your children’s favorite things, and share in the joy those things being to your kids. May you find activites you all share enjoyment of. May you see that God loves and supports you in all things.

Om Shanti

And so it begins…

HAL has begun sending me things to reinforce my last post. One of which is the following:

How to Move On: What It Really Means to Let Go: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-move-on-from-the-past-what-it-really-means-to-let-go/

I guess I will never understand fully because letting go and focusing on love seem to be the bigger message. I still wish I had some understanding.

Anyways, in moving on, I had a really good time today with 2 different co-workers during downtime.

I took a walk with the office manager and we had a really great conversation, with some much needed emotional release for both of us. Plus it helped me reach my step goals today. I was very appreciative of that time all around.

I also got to play a couple of games of “Magic the Gathering” with the one chiropractor. It’s a game I used to play with the brother that’s closest to me in age. It has been …. let’s see…. since early 2003 that I’ve played. That’s 16, almost 17, years. Wow!

I still have my cards from back then, but so much has changed that the new decks are much better, so he has been encouraging me to use his. I feel like I’m starting from scratch and completely relearning everything. It’s so fun though. I totally lost big time- on both games, but still enjoyed every bit of it.

I am so out of practice that the strategy feels over my head yet, but I get the concept. The layering of steps and which cards work better in what order can be very complex. I literally had a card in my hand that I’d been holding for several turns, but forgot to leave myself enough mana(land) to use it and it cost me the one game.

I enjoy learning so much though, and it is definitely a fun kind of learning, so it literally made me giddy at one point. I felt like I got silly hyper with the fun. That was a very much needed distraction from my previous focus.

As for learning: I’m still working on hindi and telegu in my spare time, but since I have no idea why God nudged me to do so (especially since I’m letting go of that person) , it’s at a very relaxed pace. I’m getting to where in hindi I can pick out letters and sound out words even though I know very few translations. Telegu I know more translations, but have fewer of the characters memorized. It’s merely a symptom of the different apps and how they teach languages. I like Duolingo and Drops, which both offer hindi, but neither offer telegu. The telegu apps are much less sophisticated, but still get the job done.

I’ve also begun the slow tedious process of becoming an approved continuing education provider for massage therapy. Essentially, the easy part is proving my qualifications to teach a handful of courses by documenting I have so many years working using said techniques, I also have a bachelor’s degree, which though they would prefer it to be related (a BS), it doesn’t hurt. Once I do that easy step, I literally have to follow rules and write my own curriculum which can be no more than 30% cited source material. Finally, once I’ve written everything, I can apply by submitting my CV and courses for approval; of course paying the appropriate exorbitant fees. They really try to dissuade people from becoming providers: can’t have too many teachers and too few students you know!

I’m not intimidated by the process in the least. Their basic calculation is 1200 words equals a credit unit. That’s a blog post for me, so I’m guessing I’ll have more trouble pairing down or figuring out how to subdivide my topics for multiple related courses. However, after having written the operations manual for my previous position, I’m certain I’m up to the task. It’s more about convincing myself to do the free work knowing that eventually I’ll recoup the benefit in paid courses with students in multiplicity.

I’m also contemplating the investment of a site where I can host web-based courses. Essentially, the text/testing coursework can be provided via web interface without practical hands on CE hours. Ultimately that helps spread the information side, but the CMT loses access to the extra CE’s for the hands on practicals. It’s a lower cost solution for both parties, but longterm it would benefit me as the provider more. It’s a huge up front investment, to also have to market like crazy, but longterm reaping significantly higher benefits. Ultimately, it will happen, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the investment side just yet. I’ll contemplate web platforms and do the math several times during my writing phase of this momentous step, and make my final decision during the application process.

Long story short, I’m having fun and learning and inching toward another significant step of improvement. All by my not-so-little own self. I feel like screaming “HA, Take That World!”… but alas I know no one would really truly care anyway. So, I’ll keep my ‘I win’ moment to myself, and relish that I know I’m the only one that gets credit for digging myself out of a decade of hardship…. me and God that is.

May you all have happy dances of overcoming obstacles. May you find kindness around you and moments of connection with others. May you find joy in continually learning and ways to share what you’ve already mastered. May you see God’s grace and support guiding you through all of life’s moments toward brighter futures.

Siva Hir Su

It’s not a tumor

Or a gallstone.

After 36 hours of resting and detoxing, Epsom baths and super-clean minimal eating, I was better enough to do a half day of work. Or so I thought.

I went in and after an hour, my headache and body pain flared again. I was exasperated.

I worked 6 hours and went home to rest and detox some more. I even did cupping to pull out toxins. My body really needed that.

After all of the rounds of cupping (both shoulders and back), I ended up with big dark circles and blisters from severe muscle congestion, all over my upper body. I looked like a giant octopus had attacked me, but I felt so much better.

I was certain at that point I must have accidentally ingested too much actual pepper.

I knew the dinner theater trip I took with residents had served veggies with red peppers in them, but thought I’d picked all the bits out. I must not have, or there was something else I missed, because several of my allergens cause body pain like that. However, this round was super intense because I haven’t experienced the burning in my chest, shoulders, and arms before.

Needless to say, I’m back to the brain-mouth argument over foods in my environment. My brain knowing that the reaction sucks enough to say no, but my mouth knowing how tasty everything is. It’s a never ending battle that my will-power wins when I’m pregnant, but often loses when I’m the only one to suffer.

So to reset, my goal is to stay clean from here on out, a monumental challenge in the environment I work in. I just can’t afford the reaction and resulting pain and time off it causes.

On the up side Katherine is still doing great. Still a few days from being a year old, and she’s climbing stairs on playground equipment (family went out while I was predisposed with my few hours of work).

She is intent on catching up with Ian as quickly as possible. She even takes his trucks and plays with them just like him. I hope she sticks to the good things and ignores his bad behavior. I’m also very grateful that she enjoys being outside so much, we’ll get lots of miles out of that.

May all of you enjoy sunshine, outdoors, progress, self-care and calm immune systems.

Good nite and be well.