Tag Archives: prayers


This is a short call for help. I am going to do my best to suspend the storyline of my family, because I simply can’t handle the possibility of amplifying anything.

Please see that our current reality is simply the worst of the storm about to pass. Please know we are in healing crisis and need every prayer to get through. All of us, but especially Nathan, and Katherine. I’m on top of my shit and it sucks, but I know I’ll get myself through, so my pleas are to protect my family should I fail.

See us as whole and complete, healed from all of the toxic elements. That our bodies have shed the toxic and healed fully. That all damages have been healed and improved. That we have more than enough help and more than enough resources to get through. Please see us feeling better and better, faster and faster. Please see us enjoying life again. Every positive that I have ever written about, focus there.

While you are at it, see the whole world heal and improve. For even though I know I’m in the midst of the worst, I also know it’s not just me. We all need the relief of healing fully.

May we all feel better and begin to see the calm return after the storm begins to clear. May you know your prayers matter. May you live life fully and enjoy your days mostly.

Cho Ku Rei, Dai Ko Mio, Siva Hir Su

Above all, Om Shanti: Peace BE in everything in the whole universe.

It’s going to be okay.

This statement is for everyone tonight.

I took my cannabis medicine. It helps me heal body and mind, but it also opens my already sensitive energetic awareness even more.

I found out the sister of one of the clinic staff is having really bad health trouble, and I don’t know the details.

I know I want to be there to help support the person I work with in any way I can.

I’m currently tapped out financially, and I already work a lot. So, I’m broadening my umbrella of being of assistance. I gave her a hug to help with tears, but I am doing all the Energetics I know: prayer, Reiki, bioenergetics, holding space, and mantras. The goal is directed at everything being okay for her and her sister and her entire family. I will keep saying those prayers and doing the Energetics every moment I have to spare.

In the process, it caused an inspired thought that you can take with a grain of salt because it could be completely wrong (as follows).

EBV/Mono is called the stress disease because it feeds off of stress and 2 generations didn’t fix it. What if Covid is the newer version? What if Covid is feeding off of stress before it’s a physical manifestation, before organs begin to be starved of nutrients from the physical stress response. What if the reason Covid is causing long term mental effects and things like POTS is because it’s taking our energetic stress patterns and amplifying them.

So, if you’d be the person that might eventually die of a heart attack, you end up with cardiovascular concerns from Covid. If you’re the person that would eventually end up with Alzheimer’s you’re getting the mental problems. If you’re the person that has stress that would manifest as  digestive disorders, then it has gone there.

I thought of Nathan’s kidneys and looked it up. Louise hay references kidneys as being related to shame and failure (pic below), and Traditional Chinese Medicine references kidneys as related to fear. They are overlapping emotions, and I can see how he’d be carrying those emotions.

My thyroid was already struggling from EBV but I was doing my best to fix it. I’m having difficulty continuing that post Covid, because it caused my thyroid to struggle even more. I’m also having other strange moments/symptoms, but no one thing has been severely impacted, but I’ve also spent the last 7 years doing my level best to heal myself in all the ways. Everything has been a work in progress and I’ve devoted as much brain space as possible to realignment. Perhaps my efforts spared me worse fate.

What if all our setbacks are based upon how our vibration was aimed when we caught Covid? It makes even more sense when you apply it to the fact that old people were impacted the worst and young people were impacted the least, and the fact that impoverished people were also hit hard. If the Energetics orientation is really the case, then it should be reversible by dealing with the vibrational alignment in each area. Do the work and heal the damage, it is just that you’ve got less time to do that now because it lept you ahead on your trajectory. It’s not completely irreversible until you’re dead, the least it can do is buy you time, the best it can do is heal you completely and give you your life back.

I’ll take the cue from Abraham Hicks on this one: “It’s all okay, because it’s all I’ve got.” I’m alive and breathing, and the world is still spinning. “As long as I’m breathing, anything is possible”(from my hot pink pocket poem).

Just know that and figure out how to make it fit with every topic of every moment, and voilá- Covid is solved…. After months and months of incessant repeating. Or maybe days and days if you were mildly impacted. Maybe hours if you’re the happy go lucky kids.

Vibrational alignment is always connected with disease, but Covid may have just made it a more direct and speedy connection with faster physical manifestation.

Regardless, it is all okay. Even if we all die the universe will continue to march through time with new creatures in it’s ever expanding nature. The universe will never die.

May you find your healing you seek. May you see how you can be of assistance to others in every moment of your life. May you see how to fix your alignment and with the improved alignment see everything else in your life improve too. May all of our prayers be answered in the best and highest good for all. May you know the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Inching up again. 

I’ll make this post short.

Yesterday sucked.  People suck. I’m ashamed to live and work in a metro where innocent intelligent people are killed by dumbasses carrying guns that can’t tell a criminal from a green-card holder.

I sent well wishes and my concerns to my friends that were probably impacted by the Olathe shooting.  That’s all I could do.

Then I forced myself to start climbing out of my emotional hole. I walked a mile on the treadmill. It’s all my lungs could handle.  I’ll do that again this evening. I feel better,  but having asthma always makes post sick hard. It’s always more difficult for me to breathe after having been sick,  usually for about a week or 2 afterwards.  I’m hoping forcing myself to exercise will help the breathing in addition to my mood. Plus, I keep doing breathing treatments,  at least once a day- it ensures that I avoid pneumonia.

I’m not spectacularly better,  but inching in that direction.

I left for work this morning crying on Nathan’s shoulder,  asking forgiveness.  I told him “please know I love you even when my brain doesn’t work”. I meant it. I do love him and the kids.  Sometimes I care too much,  and that mixed with malfunctioning brain, and hopelessness is a really bad combination. 

He left me to drive away with the solace that he’s slowly seeing the pattern that triggers episodes like that.  He said it’s not reliable yet,  but the pattern is emerging. I hope we’ll both get to where we can stop it before it gets that bad.

I’ll continue to ask the divine for help, with fixing my brain and with providing some incentive – some kind of improvement to want to keep making myself try. 

That’s all I can do for now.  My prayers already include others,  but after the shooting,  I will send many more for other’s sake.

 I really wish that God would grant me the ability to create Atira. I so badly want to provide a real tangible positive ripple in this world. I’m not sure how much  good my prayers,  meditations,  and mantras do, especially considering my constant battle with the negative malfunctions inside my brain.  Atira manifesting would finally show the positive effects in a real tangible way for myself and hundreds,  even thousands, of others. I wish for that. 

But for now I send peace and love and prayers for everyone being lumped in with the handful of terrorists in this world.  I pray for clarity to strike the United States so that everyone could realize that olive skin doesn’t make you a criminal,  and that those “out to get us” are an extreme minority of misguided individuals led by an even tiny-er minority that have managed to create mass hysteria. Every time someone buys into the mass hysteria, the tiny minority of fear mongers wins.

I will not buy into any of it, I have my own brain to fix, and my own life to improve. One tiny step at a time.

Many blessings on this Shivaratri weekend.