Tag Archives: progress

Almost back to ‘normal’

I’m a little stiff right now, but otherwise feeling better. And the stiff is no surprise because I walked 8994 steps today at work, inside one building, and no treadmill was involved. Just lots of back and forth, over and over again.

My one house call client asked if I was up to returning to giving her massages. I asked her to let me answer in the morning so I can see how stiff pans out overnight. I just know that I have to kneel and bend over a lot to give her a massage. My knee is still bruised, but I can kneel on a foam pad or small pillow and be fine there, but I definitely want my back to be normal before doing any significant bending.

Anyway, I am glad I am generally feeling better and I’m also very glad things are inching towards normal. I’m still certain Kansas City was an area hit long before our government did anything, so I’m betting the numbers of illnesses will be much lower than projected. I’m just happy to see more things open and more people participating in society again.

I’m also glad that my efforts at Thyroid healing are working. I’ve lost a little weight, generally feeling better- energy and emotions wise, inflammation is starting to subside, and even the pressure on my throat and voicebox has backed off. Those are all really good signs. I am hopeful that if I stick to protocols religiously I will have good results at next round of testing and sonogram.

I attempted to start writing my courses today, but didn’t get far. I sat down on my lunch break, and it was cut short by pseudo emergencies with residents. So essentially I started the Word doc and then looked up the formal structure I needed to fulfill. My handwritten notes did not actually get turned into any typed text. It’s a start, some notes and the details on what needs written is still aimed in the right direction.

I did hit a moment of overwhelmed at the end of a crazy day of work and looked at Nathan when he’d arrived to pick me up. I asked seriously if I was insane. He replied “only in the membrane” jokingly referencing the song. When I scowled at him, he said “No, you’re very intelligent with good information to share with the world. It’s a big task but you’re up to it.” I appreciated his real answer much more than the joking one.

All in all, today was a very busy, but very good day, and regardless of my momentary overwhelmed, I got this shit and will kick some intellectual arse.

May you have good busy days. May you find your knowing of being on the right track. May you know what to do and when. May you know you’ve got this, no matter what this is. May you appreciate your own abilities and feel better and better. May you be loved.

Siva Hir Su

Long day rant to refocusing.

My 70 year old mom is right, this country is all a bunch of pussies. I may be pissed off right now because of too much stupidity and lack of logic invading my space today. I finally lost it after one of my residents agreed that the crisis crashed our economy and is hurting people in many ways, but denied that it was a self imposed poor decision. I went and hid in an unused common room, so as to not get myself in trouble. So, now that work is over I’m going to rant to get it out of my system. I’ll finish with a stretch on focusing on what I want to see in the new reality.

First this country is chalk full of over privileged pussies (like mom said), with no perspective on reality for humanity as a whole, which have caused a crisis for everyone. The fear of those few, afraid that a stupid virus might end their already miserable existence, has caused a cataclysmic chain reaction that even when undone will never truly return to what we considered normal.

First, our government has put corporations before citizens AGAIN in a hugely horrible economic disaster that can’t be undone anytime soon. Corporations bailed out to the tune of billions while American citizens fail to have enough to make ends meet. My neighborhood alone went from a few incidents a week, to 67 car break-ins in about 3 days. I can’t blame them, they’re trying to find anything they can hock to pay their bills. The Great Depression was essentially a complex oopse of improper regulation of banking and stock exchange, did we learn from that lesson. No we stepped it up and made even worse decisions, on purpose, causing nearly as bad of a crash, solely based on a virus that they’re finally admitting has an even lower death rate than the flu.

Watch “Ticked Off Vic: A Mssage to the Government | VicDiBitetto.net” on YouTube

Second despite all those gun toting republican hippocrites afraid their liberties will be taken away, our government has done just that. Deciding what is necessary or not, deaming that grocery store trips can’t include toy purchases even if your kids are going nuts being cooped up at home, ticketing people for being out of their homes. You were afraid about some guns, but THIS, this is okay!? The same republicans that deny women the right to birth control and abortion, suddenly having a conscious about “it’s my body, I have the right to decide”. It’s nice you finally discovered how important that is, but damn, did you have to wait for all of our liberties to be stripped before coming to that conclusion? Really?! One step from martial law and you finally decide this isn’t okay.

That’s nothing to mention all of the things that are likely happening behind the scenes because our government knows we’re distracted. They have a really good track record of sliding all kinds of things past us when an opportunity of distraction happens. What are all of you going to say in a year, or two, or ten when those things come out to the light of day?

And when did disease become political in the first place? It’s not politics, it’s science, and at that I’m discovering how many people are sorely uneducated on it, purely illiterate. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard facts cited as being the reason this virus is supposedly so bad, and my retort is that said fact applies to all viruses. Beyond that I keep reminding them their constantly dwindling data, didn’t account for anyone that caught it before testing was available, and still doesn’t account for any 3rd world countries or poverty ridden areas, doesn’t account for anyone not sick enough to be admitted to a hospital. Do you think anyone is wasting tests on homeless? Do you think any of the millions of uninsured poverty level families are being tested? No. Their numbers get more and more outlandish, and they’re not even accounting for even a third of the people that probably actually had it.

Sustainable disease control and prevention, that’s what I’ve argued all along. This is not that. This is not even a real quarantine. Real quarantines are only the sick people, and any family member that chooses to be with a sick person is held in the same conditions until all who are quarantined are clear of disease. Period. Sustainable disease control: wash hands first and foremost- repeat that frequently, don’t touch your own eyes/face to avoid catching something from having touched contaminated objects, sanitize surfaces and objects as frequently as realistic/manpower enables (depending on flow of people that might be hourly), hand sanitizer in a pinch (keep in mind sanitizer created super bugs like MRSA), did I mention wash your damn hands!!!!???

There is no proof the 6 feet works. It’s based on droplet travel distance from a cough only. See my previous posts with citation. Sneezes can travel up to 10 meters or 30 feet. Beyond that, once someone has breathed, coughed, or sneezed, those virus are still in the area, active and can still be spread via contact. 6 feet is pointless. Plexiglass panels are pointless, plexiglass cubicles might actually be beneficial if ventilated through filters, but you still have to come and go from them. Did you think about that?

But hey, all those 55+ that are retired on fixed incomes in fixed bill situations, you can hide in your little apartments or homes and you think everything is just fine and dandy. Or all those congressmen and representatives on lifetime fixed salaries. You’re not affected by job layoffs, families going from two incomes to one, or in my case a family going from 1 decent salary to half, or as my neighbors going from two incomes to none. You have no fucking clue what that is like. Then to find out your bank got a giant bailout, and you just get a furlough on your mortgage payments so it won’t impact your credit as long as you can make all your payments right after you return to work. Asshats. But yeah, none of the aforementioned would bother to wrap their brains around that. I had one resident try to go all “Nancy Pelosi trying to sneak her pets in”. When I asked for an example she cited the National Endowment for the Arts fund. I said, oh you mean the fund that pays for public television, the fund that pays for all of our libraries which have all shut down and laid off employees, the fund that allows artists to start businesses and pay for employees, that fund, yeah I can totally see how that wouldn’t be a good addition. NOT! Get a fucking clue.

So privileged, that you forget all of the other countries and why they aren’t in the news. Do you think little 12 year old Raj in India working 8 hour shifts as a child gets told to stay home. No! Do you think little Malik in Africa walking 30 miles to carry gerry-cans of water gets told to stay home. No! Those children, those families, are more concerned about finding food, more concerned about living through malaria and dysentery from bad water, more concerned about living through tumors from all of it, more concerned about how they will continue to have a relatively safe spot to sleep. There are billions of people on this planet that don’t even have basic needs met, let alone the ability to call a doctor and get any treatment or medication needed in a moments notice. But our over privileged society forgets that all too readily, forgets even here in the USA all of the millions that are under-insured, uninsured, cash-pay, that is if they even have enough cash to pay, and thus go without proper care, let alone a stupid test to see if they’ve got it. And still this disease has less than even the 3% death rate of the flu. Soooo scary, not!

You, as an American, still have a better chance of dieing from heart disease, cancer, or a car accident, than all viral diseases put together. Get a fucking clue, but that would mean that the vaccine industry would fail at getting us to keep buying into their trillions of dollars of profits on vaccines. If we’re not scared enough to fall for an untested emergency vaccine, then what might they do in 10 years when vaccine use declines from the hundreds of shots currently pushed, many of which are grossly ineffective, to a mere few of the genuinely worst. I mean when the vaccines they produce have the same 1 to 3% death rate as this disease, you literally have a coin toss as to which risk you’re willing to take. I personally would rather take my chances with the virus any day, because then I can skip the injection which includes formaldehyde, antifreeze, parabens, aluminum, thimerisol (mercury compound), and any number of hundreds of other chemicals commonly found in vaccines. One virus up against my immune system always loses eventually.

And that’s the other thing, learn your own conditions and stop using language you don’t fully understand. I swear if I hear one more person use “I’m immune compromised” improperly I may go postal. Here’s the deal, there are many auto-immune diseases that fall under immuno-deficiency that don’t actually mean you catch every disease that comes along. I have Hashimotos’, it is one such disease. My body attacks my thyroid because my immune system reacts to molecules, chemicals that it learned were bad. It means my general overall health stuffers because I gain weight over everything, every allergen causes me to have a host of thyroid related problems. Yet my overactive immune system kills viruses as efficiently as it tries to kill chemical compounds. So, as far as communicable diseases: I’m splendidly healthy. There’s a pancreatic version, liver disease that’s similar, RA, and nearly a dozen other diseases that fall in the same category. Odly enough (sarcasm) they are all first world diseases. They are all caused by our shitty foods, and toxic chemicals from pesticides, herbicides and preservatives, and yes possibly even the chemicals used in vaccines. We have done it to ourselves. So stop using your autoimmune disorder as a reason for your displaced fears. Get over yourself, learn your own shit for real, and learn what you need to do to heal. I have. Put up or shut up.

And then to top my day off, I stopped at QT for potty break and some unsweetened black raspberry tea. To find out all of the fountain drinks were unavailable, and my choice doesn’t come in a bottle. Okay, so I’m totally okay with eliminating the disposable cups, because even though they are recyclable, many people do trash them- it is good for the environment and I didn’t need a damn virus to go along on that ride, as I usually refill my own container anyway. But the drinks themselves, are you fucking crazy?! If you’re following the sanitization procedures for all food prep, and I know they do, then the drinks are safe. The only thing that can get contaminated is the damn customer handle. In this litigious society, all you need is a damn sign reminding people to be cautious and wash their damn hands after using the spigot. Simple, easy, give me my damn tea. Fucking ludicrous. If I was worried about the spigot, I wouldn’t be in the damn store to begin with. The decisions businesses are making are based on trying to meet the fear of those few clueless illiterate fraidy-cats, and aren’t even based in any real facts or evidence. If you, as a corporation, are going to try and cover your ass, do it right, be informed of actual risks, and act accordingly. If you don’t know, hire someone to tell you who definitely does; not maybe, not kinda, someone who really knows with certainty, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Corporations should be only following CDC guidelines by law, and otherwise seeking well informed legal and medical counsel. Doing anything because it was on the news or someone suggested, or a customer complained, is bad for business and quite risky. If your complaint was from an uninformed illiterate fraidy-cat then you’re setting yourself up for lost income and unnecessary costs. It’s better to preemptively prepare and train as to why it is okay to leave certain things in place, and lable use at your own risk. But hey, I just wanted my damn tea, and knew the risk, which I was willing to take, being certain at this point I’ve already had the damn virus.

So yeah, I am way beyond over this shit. I literally am hitting my livid wall and ready to start making heads roll. I need real sense to start happening, and the kind of logic that moves humanity as a whole forward. First world problems need to stay problems for the few, and leave the rest of the damn world out of it.

So that takes me to what I want to see.

  • My tea back at QT
  • Normal means of sanitization
  • Society being educated on normal disease processes and prevention
  • People owning themselves and being responsible for themselves
  • Only carrying out solutions that improve the whole picture. When the solution is worse than the disease we deserve a choice.
  • Solutions that work for everyone
  • The government putting individual citizens before corporations
  • Government agencies and politicians working together to real compromise solutions that help society and the world at large
  • Making strides to save our home planet so that multiple generations even have a chance at trying to further humanity
  • People having gratitude and perspective and acknowledgement of their privileged positions in society and life. Helping those less fortunate would be wonderful, but at least don’t cause greater problems for those less fortunate
  • Acknowledgement that the worst is indeed over and the disease was overestimated, and beginning to rebuild and repair damage done.
  • Society returning to work
  • People finding common ground
  • People working together
  • People ending name calling and the blame game
  • Less divisive, more unified
  • Caring, kindness, and compassion returning
  • Hugs and handshakes returning
  • People washing hands always, not just because a ‘new’ disease comes through
  • People owning their own health for real
  • Literacy on disease prevention, disease cycles, and sanitization that kills disease without creating super-bugs
  • Less wastefulness
  • Everyone having access to basic needs
  • Everyone having access to healthcare
  • Everyone having proper assistance
  • Everyone having clean water and proper waste management
  • Everyone having safe basic homes
  • Everyone having access to multivitamins and other genuinely helpful immune boosters (the ones that don’t inject chemicals into your bloodstream or have 1-3% fatalities)
  • Society reclaiming basic human rights
  • Society supporting individual rights
  • Less pollution
  • More safety
  • More genuine security
  • More rehabilitation programs
  • More assistance programs for needy and impoverished
  • Government by the people for the people, not by the corporate citizen for the corporate citizen.
  • Feeling supported and cared for
  • Feeling like my voice matters and makes a difference
  • Feeling like things are moving in positive directions again
  • Feeling like humanity has good things to look forward to
  • Feeling like the divine is helping us
  • Feeling like the divine is guiding us and intervening as needed
  • Feeling like the problems are being replaced by real usable solutions
  • Feeling like my life matters
  • Feeling like the world is someplace I want to be again
  • Feeling like humanity has a real chance
  • Feeling like not all is doomed
  • Feeling like change is happening and for the better
  • Feeling of positive progress
  • Feeling that we’re headed for better days
  • Feeling relief

May your rants always help you feel better and help you reach for better feeling thoughts. May we all get through this okay, especially those of us that did our best to keep the sanity. May those less fortunate be supported by those whom are the fortunate. May humanity progress and the whole world see improvement. May our world find lasting cleanliness for both our health and the health of the planet. May we all see the greater ripple effect and our role at creating improvement. May we all come together to compromise for solutions that work for everyone. May God’s light shine the way to better days.

Siva Hir Su

Done, done, not done.

Graphic designs done. Taxes done (at least as much as possible.). Dome design done. My massage received. Rest- check. Cuddles with kids- yes.

Didn’t get to prepping gardens, it was too cold and wet. Didn’t get any artwork done. Not much “fun” to be had either, cuddles with kids was enjoyable, but not what I would classify as good fun. Okay, could be worse, that’s not a complaint, more an observation.

My son misbehaved a lot, no big surprise there, but it’s getting really old. Today I had a long discussion about how he was acting vendictive like the one person we were around alot about 2 years ago. I explained that his actions speak to intentionally wanting to hurt me and daddy. Nathan and I have decided that cutting cords and burning sage frequently isn’t enough, it’s time for counseling…. That or a voodoo doll for the original offender. The former is more expensive, the later might carry bad karma, but both would solve the problem. Hmmm. Decisions. Probably the counseling, but I’m not afraid to do the voodoo if necessary. HA!

Anyways, I really had set out to update on my thyroid labs.

First a really quick review of my thyroid history… 2 years ago after Katherine’s birth (June 2018), I had pulled out of my second crash and my labs were as follows.

Not great, but they could have been worse. These were the labs that finally acknowledged the immune attack on my thyroid. I was on medication at that point, so my numbers were mostly okay other than the immune response denoted by the antibodies.

The next previous labs were 2 years further, after the meds had pulled me out of the horrible post Ian-birth crash. Those labs were pretty basic (next picture), but did show I had started to run consistently high, so that was when I began tapering back on meds a little over a year from when I began taking the meds.

So 2 births and resulting thyroid crashes have taught me how to read labs, what to look for and what symptoms link to what on the lab results. There were a couple of other lab profiles done, but they were so basic it seemed pointless to show them here. The original one from after Ian was born which showed a TSH of 80, that one I never even got a copy of- bad doctor.

Anyways, all the labs I’ve ever had were cash pay. Even the short time when I was covered by insurance, labs were not drawn because I had rediculous high deductibles. So I did the best with the resources available.

I’m still doing that.

I managed to get over the hump of renting for $800/mo to owning for $900/mo. But insurance is still nonexistent and doctors waste both my time and my money.

So, I ordered my labs myself again. This time I ordered a slightly more comprehensive package developed by the Stop The Thyroid Madness doctors. Results came back last night.

Now as a reminder: I knew I had had a thyroid storm about a week prior – based on symptoms and awareness of allergy reactions, but I have not been taking any meds for over a year. These were my results.

Mostly everything was okay. My cholesterol numbers were good; though I could bring the good cholesterol up a bit to even out with the bad (which is still well under their desired preference). Iron and liver related tests were good. My sugars were high, but again I’ve known I’m reacting to things which is causing those spikes, plus considering that I know a bad reaction will spike me well into the 300’s I’ll take the 157 I had. This morning my fasting glucose was 92, perfectly normal. I was high side of normal on table salt (sodium and chloride levels), but being that I have vegetable soup fairly frequently, I’ll take that number as a ‘could be much worse’ too. Especially since I’ve managed to get my body alkaline (pH of 8 on UA), that’s a hard feat to accomplish without any salt at all.

That brings me to thyroid numbers.

  • RT3 was at 12. Ideal is 8 to 10. So close, and running a bit high is a conversion problem due to Hashimotos’, I’m still well within what doctors consider normal, just not ideal.
  • Free T4 at 1.1, and ideal is 1.3. Also very close to ideal and well within normal.
  • FreeT3 at 2.8, and ideal is 3.5-4.2. I’m a little low there, but still in normal range. Also, that is very common with Hashimotos’ immune problems. So common that most Hashi people only take T3.

Unfortunately, that’s where the normals end.

  • TSH. That’s the number that denotes how hard your pituitary gland is trying to convince your thyroid to work- thyroid stimulating hormone. It was 80 after Ian, and 20 something after Katherine. Both times I struggled with depression severely. Currently I’m at 11.47 after the thyroid storm that did have anxiety, depression, and heart palpitations. Definitely not great. Well outside normal. My pituitary gland knows my thyroid wasn’t keeping up very well and trying like crazy to convince it to work harder.
  • TgAb or thyroglobulin antibodies. It doubled since the previous test, and that one wasn’t good. 2 to 4 sucks.
  • TPO or thyroid peroxidase antibodies. That also nearly doubled from 342 to 546. It is supposed to be under 9.

Those last two are antibodies that attack the thyroid when they detect certain triggers (allergens of similar molecular structure). They are way too plentiful, even with my known reaction and thyroid storm. I expected numbers like after Katherine knowing that prior to December I’d been doing great, not something twice as high.

It means I’m definitely missing things. I’m likely consuming allergens I have yet to label. I don’t want to think about any other possibility, because I know a doctor would likely start to check for cancer.

So, next step is to come up with the extra $400 to pay for the blood serum allergy testing. I have managed to figure out most of my allergies without it, but at this point I admit I’m at a stalemate without the bloodwork. I just can’t fathom what else I might be reacting to.

After that and another round of diet adjustments, I’ll need to give my body 30 to 60 days of perfection to see if the antibodies drop. That’s another round of labs to pay for to be able to see the result, but can stick to the basic thyroid panel and antibodies, that’s more like $100+.

If they do plummet then I’m golden. If they don’t then I may have much larger problems to consider. I certainly hope for the former.

Now I just have to figure out how to juggle the extra labs while already juggling reduced income from Covid19 nonsense. This is about to get really interesting.

May you have full health. May your labs always come back ideal. May you never have to know what thyroid problems are like. May you always have the resources you need in quick response timeframes. May you know you’re on there right track, and find your missing pieces easily. May you feel good mostly and have minimal easily solveable problems. May you have many blessings in all areas of your life.

Siva Hir Su