Tag Archives: rant

KMA to no one in particular.

These are all the real things that no one wants to hear, but feel spectacular when I acknowledge them.

Go ahead and kill me. We’re all going to end up dead anyway. Every last one of us at some point, it’s inevitable. And I’m not like 99% of the world afraid to die. Hell it’d solve a lot of my problems. I’d never have to work to pay bills again. I’d never have to take responsibility for shit I didn’t cause again. I’d never have to tell people their real problem preventing their own progress, or better yet problems with the systems they buy into. I’d never have to rub on people in futility doing my damnedest to convince them to just fucking relax and let go for once. I’d never have to work and do all the other things too. I’d be free and easy, and I know that is in my vortex. Besides, who fucking wants to stay here anyway? Does anyone actually enjoy life for real? Ever? Everyone and every government wants to spend all day everyday fighting each other and everyone else too, all in a stupid war to see who can convince the most that they are right and powerful. There aren’t fun pleasant things to even talk about anymore, let alone go do without significant discomfort or hassle. It’s covid this, politics that, doctors this, and on and on and on. Everyone missed Thumper’s lesson 40 years ago, a whole lotta not nice going on all the fucking time. So yeah, just fucking kill me and get it over with. I asked for easy, I asked for fun, I asked for better, I reached for all of them, and I’ve got this bullshit that is nothing like what I asked for. Can’t eat anything hardly at all, let alone anything I want. Still fat and ugly, still an assload of problems I can’t fix. Still praying for better daily, still working myself to better vibrations, like this is doing wonders for the way I feel- it feels spectacular. How about I just go to sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow. That’s the death scenario I know is in my vortex. I’m totally fine with that. I’m over fighting. I’m over hearing complaining about everything in the world. I’m over listening to everyone else’s negative ninies, and having no way to release it without repetition. I’m just over it, every bit of it. This world sucks and I’m totally willing to go. Heaping steaming pile of toxic waste sludge from mankind’s careless stupidity. So much toxicity there is nowhere to turn or run to. My organs are trashed from repeat viral infections and medicine has no fix only costly lifetime treatments for symptoms, which I really don’t even care to try and navigate anymore. I’m over it. I’m over lazy doctors and useless treatments. I’m over trying to come up with money I don’t have. I’m good. You’ve trashed my whole family with repeat diseases. Just let us all go. How about tonight in our sleep we all die. End of story. Sleep. No living again. I’m good with that. Hell it’d end at least our 5 portions of Epstein-Barr/Mono and Covid viruses. Hell the whole world should just let go. You want to end Covid, just let it win. Everyone that hasn’t had it will be the only survivors, and *poof*: no Covid ever again. I’m good with that. I’m a willing sacrifice. Go ahead, make my day, end the suffering for once and for all. I’d have no pain, no stiffness, no headaches, no digestive trouble, no diarrhea or constipation, no loss of energy, no fatigue or exhaustion, no brain failures, no discomfort of any kind. I’d feel better than I’ve ever felt before, because there is no health or lack of it, if you no longer have a body. And no disease or resistance is possible once you’re dead, I’d be my full genius self again. There would be nothing to worry about, no place to be at a certain time, no things I’d have to do. Just done. Financially off the hook for all eternity, if everyone died we’d all be debt free instantly, and there would be no credit agencies or big banks anymore. That actually sounds quite wonderful. I like the sound of that, even knowing that you can’t flow money at all once you’re dead, if that were true Nathan’s ex would have used the afterlife to repay the debts and ripples she caused. And go ahead and give the divine mother back her planet. If we’re all gone then she’d have a much easier time fixing all the shit that we have done. We’ve raped and pillaged and plundered and poisoned everything and everyone until disease has touched everything and everyone. There is no one safe, even our land, our waters and our air, have been poisoned beyond human repair. We will all die eventually because man is too stupid to know when he’s done too much. Man is too stupid to know when to stop. Just fucking stop. The divine mother would have a much welcomed relief if we all just died- now. Do you have any idea how many problems would be solved in one fell swoop by all humans being destroyed. Maybe just maybe it’s the best thing that has ever happened. I simply just ask that for my family, we all go at once, easy peasy, no mess to clean up or financial problems, just 5 burials that the state can manage (maybe- I’m not sure any government can manage anything useful or good anymore). And if everyone was gone all the toxins from all the manufacturing would end because there would be no products to make to sell, because there would be no people to sell to. There would be no fossil fuels to consume because the few people left could survive on the turbines already up and running. And housing, there wouldn’t be enough people to sustain mortgage companies, and there would be billions of empty houses. The few people left could just pick where they want to live, end of story. All of the pollution would suddenly cease. It seems like a great plan to me. Solve everything at once, mass genocide. It’s all good. And it’s not like we’d be missing anything anyway. Once your buffet of choices is all just piles of toxic shit, it leaves humans saying “no, I’m good, I don’t need any more suffering”. Once there’s toxic choices to the left, to the right, front and back and center, one decides none of it is worth it. I had a client tell me “Live in Christ, die in Christ.” They were trying to express peace with death. Well there’s not anyone really living in Christ anymore, so we might as well all die in Christ. This is really seeming like a win+win the more I look at it. We’d all be free, we’d all find relief, even the planet would be able to recover eventually. Sign me up, under one condition, the willing (myself included) get the easiest, quickest, most seamless transition.

I really am good with that.

Besides, no one really wants to hear me either God. I know how you feel. Let’s commiserate on the other side: we’d be demiGod and demiGoddess smushing humans together, and letting the Earth heal.

May you find your least resistant thought. May you see the easiest solution as valid, regardless as to what that is. May you know that you deserve more than pain and suffering for a lifetime. May you know that the divine always knows what is best; it is totally okay to release, let go and let God. May you see that your life made an impact even if it was brief. May you know you did your best in this world. May you forgive yourself and all of humanity for our stupidity. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Echo,

Echo, Echo, Echo….


Last night my husband and I took advantage of a digital doctor appointment to get set-up with Medicinal Cannabis Cards. Only a couple of minutes in, the doctor stated “Insurance and Medicine don’t cover tools that heal.” I heard an echo, and Nathan laughed looking directly at me.

She referenced several tools, which I have been attempting in vain to align myself with the resources to accomplish, for myself and my family. She then proceeded to talk about the different elements of medical cannabis and which bodily systems and functions they affected to enable better functionality. She broke down the different CDB’s and terpenes and even the variations of THC and how they affected the body. I was already familiar with some of the data and information, but she gave charts and graphics that really helped narrow down our particular needs and expand our knowledge. I am very appreciative that we will soon be able to access a much more specific array of cannabis tools to help regain health.

Now if I could just get the resources together to do the I-V Oxygenation therapy and even potentially I-V Nutrient therapy for myself and my family. I don’t know how, but I know I need the universe to really cooperate with me.

See 11 years after Nathan’s original diagnosis, and 10 years since our health journey began (& 7 since I got intensely serious), we are still struggling to show success of any kind, and short resources that could potentially make the difference.

We trusted a system that was intended to be a safety net for both the patient and the medical provider. We were told by the hospital, that Nathan was sick enough that we needed to apply for disability to ensure he got care and the hospital got compensated.

We fought and fought. We gave up briefly, then fought some more.

He is finally classified as disabled, but we only got $560.00 in SSI and not a stitch of disability thus far. The lawyer claimed $150 of that and the hospital still wants us to pay them the $110,000.00 we owe them. His student loan is a mountain of paperwork away from being a headache though, not that anyone cares to help with that either. And his recent new diagnosis of Kidney Failure, a different hospital has offered to do standard dialysis, and they are helping him get set-up with medicaid.

He’s gotten more input from the Acupuncturist at the clinic than his team of medical professionals put together.

I have stated the following, many ways, in many posts, but feel the need to reiterate.

I can only speak for the American medical systems, as that is what I have dealt with for a decade.

There is no safety net if you really need it. There are just a lucky few that manage to squeak past all the hurdles and loopholes to actually get what the system promises.

&

They want you to stay sick, because if you really can’t pay, eventually the government will one way or another. See that $110,000.00 we owe to KU Med, if we never ever pay, eventually they will completely write it off, and the government will give them concessions on their taxes. They know that. But it will continue to haunt Nathan’s credit report for as many years as they can drag it out. Tell me how that is okay!!!!

Bonus: if you stay sick, they keep making money on treating your symptoms, regardless of how expensive of a process that may be. There is no incentive for them to get you well. Again, how is that okay!!!!

But I am just a disgruntled bitter person wanting my health back from a disease that they could have solved 80 years ago if they had really want to. They don’t want to solve viruses, because they make too damn much money off of them, and doctors toe the line instead of standing up for what is right and healing their patients.

In July of 1946 the World Health Organization or WHO defined health as:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.

Tell me how Covid or Epstein-Barr or any other chronic virus, being allowed to run rampant, is creating health for anyone, especially our entire society. Tell me how shutting down society for a year, causing businesses to close, and people to loose homes and jobs, knowing full well that Western Medicine has no real solution for any virus, is enabling our world to find Health.

The WHO had no problem breaking their own goals of promoting health to try and “STOP” a virus, but they also have no problem enabling insurance companies and medical institutions to keep ignoring the real problems and the potential solutions right under their noses. Because the solutions make less money than the symptom treatments.

I am furious right now, and it has been directed at god more than a couple of times the last couple of weeks. This shit should have stopped 40 years ago, but just keeps being perpetuated by old greedy mostly-white bastards, and the rest of the population just lets it keep happening because they refuse to educate themselves and join forces to make it change. There will be no solution to this mess ever if that doesn’t happen. You can’t find a solution if you never try.

If you just wallow in the problem and throw your hands up in the air as “they said it’s all we have” then that is exactly what you will continue to get.

As for Nathan and I, we are doing our best to move towards our own individual solutions as quickly as possible. It does mean I have been extra extra busy and am now writing less. Please keep us in your prayers that we find all the solutions and resources we need.

May you have the solutions you need. May you know exactly what to do. May you see the falacy of things that will not help you. May you find a way to keep progressing towards better. May things generally start to get easier for you. May you know you have your health under control and stabilized as much as humanly possible. May you always have supportive medical staff. AND above all else, may you know that God loves and supports you, even when it seems otherwise.

Om Shanti

PSA

Just because everyone is riled up about Covid does not mean other diseases disappeared.

I just had a really frustrating conversation with my current doctor’s front desk.

I have had a wicked sore throat for a little over 3 days. The point at which eating dinner made it difficult to do anything else, I reached out to the doc after hours by phone.

I explained it is my throat and ears. They hurt really really bad, and the mucous is massive, thick and some color. I have absolutely no other symptoms. No headache except when I try to swallow something- it is definitely reactionary pain in my head. No fever, not even close. No difficulty breathing, and keep in mind I am technically an asthmatic. No chills, no sweats, no body aches.

My symptoms are literally a super painful six inch swath of my body.

Having actually had strep in college, I am painfully aware of the similarities I am experiencing right now. I informed doc of this over the phone and reiterated it has been going for 3 days, and there has been no progression or worsening, but it’s not getting better and I’m having difficulty staying hydrated.

He said ok, I will send in a script for a Z-pack antibiotic and you’ll need to come by the office for a strep swab tomorrow.

Ok, I’m down, seems easy enough.

Then I call the front desk this morning to figure out when I need to do that, and the front desk girl wants to go- it might be covid and we don’t test for that here. I tried to run through all the reasons it might not be covid and strep needs to be treated properly, but she’s so afraid she couldn’t hear me.

There is a serious problem here.

Strep is a bacterial infection that can run for weeks if untreated. It can also do horrible irreparable damage to surrounding tissues and organs, not to mention the very real risk of dehydration and related problems.

Just because you’re afraid of covid, doesn’t mean other diseases disappeared, and if you fail to treat the real disease because it might be covid then you are letting people suffer needlessly.

This isn’t the first such instance I have come across. I have heard of other people that got covid positive tests at first symptoms, but when they failed to get better, doctors finally did further appropriate testing to find out it wasn’t covid to begin with. I have heard of strep, and rhinitis, and others. Leading some to believe that many of the covid tests are coming back positive when it might not have been Covid at all.

The latest is I have a friend (more acquaintance we used to hang out with occasionally). She’s in the hospital for MRSA also known as medicine resistant staphylococcus areolas. The infection progressed so much because of Covid nonsense that since she is now properly diagnosed, they have her on antibiotic drip and doctors are saying she’ll be in the hospital for a couple of weeks maybe longer. MRSA too can kill people and is extremely difficult to overcome when properly diagnose immediately, let alone sidelined because of Covid.

There is something seriously wrong with our medical system right now, and frankly I’m a little pissed that I just got the shuffle because of irrational fear. I haven’t enjoyed the last 3 days, and if they make this drag out forever because they are afraid I might have Covid I’m seriously gonna hurt someone.

See I already know I had a mystery virus before we had testing for Covid. I know that mystery virus fit the precise bill of what covid was. At 3 days I started to feel better and a little over a week I was back to normal. My son fared worse with mystery virus but still lived and got back to normal. Since then I’ve been exposed to at least 3 people with that tested positive shortly after I was around them. I never got sick from them.

And my current problem fits the strep throat bill. Fucking do your job. I shouldn’t have to do it for you. What the fuck am I paying you for.

But that is just me being pissed off I guess. No, no it’s not. Everyone should be pissed off over that. It’s your job to treat the real problem, not slap a questionable test on it because they’re similar and then accept the questionable test results as word of God, even knowing there are many tests both on the false positive and false negative.

I am so over western medicine half assing everything and scaring everyone needlessly. I’m beginning to wonder how many covid deaths were really something else entirely and they were treating the wrong problem. See that’s the biggest issue, when you fuck up so much that people no longer trust you to do the right thing, then you’ve already lost.

As it is, I have my Z-pack and a few days off, whether they do their job right or not. If the Z-pack works and I get back to normal, I’ll just cancel my subscription doctor and find someone else, not that I have much faith in any of them right now. If it doesn’t and they don’t do a strep swab, then I have no clue.

I’m fairly certain that if I did a Covid test it would come back positive whether I have it currently or not.

there are two concerns:

1) Being the frequent false positives of people that have chosen to take the test. Equally as many false negatives make me distrust the test at all.

2) Being that because I am certain I’ve had it, there could still be enough in my system to trigger the positive anyway. New diseases are notorious for your body hitting a stasis where you are no longer sick, but weak virus particles continue to float in your system. Some diseases like Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) have been known to cause thyroid concerns like mine and can hide in your system for years, but no one wants to acknowledge that. We simply have no idea if Covid could be doing that, so some of the false positives might be just that simple, and those people are now sick with something else and not being treated properly.

Here’s the deal, you don’t want to over use antibiotic drugs because that and over use of sanitizer are responsible for MRSA. But covid is viral. So you don’t really do anything for a virus, unless symptoms are severe enough to risk life.

If someone actually is sick because of a bacterial infection it is more hazardous to leave that untreated. We should test for bacterial infections first, then if symptoms might remotely be Covid test for that second. That way if it is bacterial you can solve it and get someone well, but if it isn’t bacterial then you can know for certain what the patient might expect, and in the case of Covid be ready if they are the unlucky few that needs hospitalized.

This nonsense of putting off a strep test because strep symptoms overlap with Covid is horribly wrong and hazardous to everyone’s health. Especially considering that for people that have had strep multiple times, they might need more antibiotics to fight it off. If my one Z-pack doesn’t solve it, and they still refuse to test for strep, they are literally risking creating a super bug. That is bad for everyone.

I’m not opposed to taking the covid test if the strep test returns as negative, but I’ll be damned to assume it’s covid over strep when I know my medical history and experiences.

May you have the intelligent doctors that do their job fully and completely. May you know that you are on the right track. May we all come to our senses and put things back in proper perspective. May you know that you are loved and supported. May you know your body has the ability to heal anything. May you have easy days and be healthy mostly. May you know that God is watching out for you.

Siva Hir Su

Long day rant to refocusing.

My 70 year old mom is right, this country is all a bunch of pussies. I may be pissed off right now because of too much stupidity and lack of logic invading my space today. I finally lost it after one of my residents agreed that the crisis crashed our economy and is hurting people in many ways, but denied that it was a self imposed poor decision. I went and hid in an unused common room, so as to not get myself in trouble. So, now that work is over I’m going to rant to get it out of my system. I’ll finish with a stretch on focusing on what I want to see in the new reality.

First this country is chalk full of over privileged pussies (like mom said), with no perspective on reality for humanity as a whole, which have caused a crisis for everyone. The fear of those few, afraid that a stupid virus might end their already miserable existence, has caused a cataclysmic chain reaction that even when undone will never truly return to what we considered normal.

First, our government has put corporations before citizens AGAIN in a hugely horrible economic disaster that can’t be undone anytime soon. Corporations bailed out to the tune of billions while American citizens fail to have enough to make ends meet. My neighborhood alone went from a few incidents a week, to 67 car break-ins in about 3 days. I can’t blame them, they’re trying to find anything they can hock to pay their bills. The Great Depression was essentially a complex oopse of improper regulation of banking and stock exchange, did we learn from that lesson. No we stepped it up and made even worse decisions, on purpose, causing nearly as bad of a crash, solely based on a virus that they’re finally admitting has an even lower death rate than the flu.

Watch “Ticked Off Vic: A Mssage to the Government | VicDiBitetto.net” on YouTube

Second despite all those gun toting republican hippocrites afraid their liberties will be taken away, our government has done just that. Deciding what is necessary or not, deaming that grocery store trips can’t include toy purchases even if your kids are going nuts being cooped up at home, ticketing people for being out of their homes. You were afraid about some guns, but THIS, this is okay!? The same republicans that deny women the right to birth control and abortion, suddenly having a conscious about “it’s my body, I have the right to decide”. It’s nice you finally discovered how important that is, but damn, did you have to wait for all of our liberties to be stripped before coming to that conclusion? Really?! One step from martial law and you finally decide this isn’t okay.

That’s nothing to mention all of the things that are likely happening behind the scenes because our government knows we’re distracted. They have a really good track record of sliding all kinds of things past us when an opportunity of distraction happens. What are all of you going to say in a year, or two, or ten when those things come out to the light of day?

And when did disease become political in the first place? It’s not politics, it’s science, and at that I’m discovering how many people are sorely uneducated on it, purely illiterate. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard facts cited as being the reason this virus is supposedly so bad, and my retort is that said fact applies to all viruses. Beyond that I keep reminding them their constantly dwindling data, didn’t account for anyone that caught it before testing was available, and still doesn’t account for any 3rd world countries or poverty ridden areas, doesn’t account for anyone not sick enough to be admitted to a hospital. Do you think anyone is wasting tests on homeless? Do you think any of the millions of uninsured poverty level families are being tested? No. Their numbers get more and more outlandish, and they’re not even accounting for even a third of the people that probably actually had it.

Sustainable disease control and prevention, that’s what I’ve argued all along. This is not that. This is not even a real quarantine. Real quarantines are only the sick people, and any family member that chooses to be with a sick person is held in the same conditions until all who are quarantined are clear of disease. Period. Sustainable disease control: wash hands first and foremost- repeat that frequently, don’t touch your own eyes/face to avoid catching something from having touched contaminated objects, sanitize surfaces and objects as frequently as realistic/manpower enables (depending on flow of people that might be hourly), hand sanitizer in a pinch (keep in mind sanitizer created super bugs like MRSA), did I mention wash your damn hands!!!!???

There is no proof the 6 feet works. It’s based on droplet travel distance from a cough only. See my previous posts with citation. Sneezes can travel up to 10 meters or 30 feet. Beyond that, once someone has breathed, coughed, or sneezed, those virus are still in the area, active and can still be spread via contact. 6 feet is pointless. Plexiglass panels are pointless, plexiglass cubicles might actually be beneficial if ventilated through filters, but you still have to come and go from them. Did you think about that?

But hey, all those 55+ that are retired on fixed incomes in fixed bill situations, you can hide in your little apartments or homes and you think everything is just fine and dandy. Or all those congressmen and representatives on lifetime fixed salaries. You’re not affected by job layoffs, families going from two incomes to one, or in my case a family going from 1 decent salary to half, or as my neighbors going from two incomes to none. You have no fucking clue what that is like. Then to find out your bank got a giant bailout, and you just get a furlough on your mortgage payments so it won’t impact your credit as long as you can make all your payments right after you return to work. Asshats. But yeah, none of the aforementioned would bother to wrap their brains around that. I had one resident try to go all “Nancy Pelosi trying to sneak her pets in”. When I asked for an example she cited the National Endowment for the Arts fund. I said, oh you mean the fund that pays for public television, the fund that pays for all of our libraries which have all shut down and laid off employees, the fund that allows artists to start businesses and pay for employees, that fund, yeah I can totally see how that wouldn’t be a good addition. NOT! Get a fucking clue.

So privileged, that you forget all of the other countries and why they aren’t in the news. Do you think little 12 year old Raj in India working 8 hour shifts as a child gets told to stay home. No! Do you think little Malik in Africa walking 30 miles to carry gerry-cans of water gets told to stay home. No! Those children, those families, are more concerned about finding food, more concerned about living through malaria and dysentery from bad water, more concerned about living through tumors from all of it, more concerned about how they will continue to have a relatively safe spot to sleep. There are billions of people on this planet that don’t even have basic needs met, let alone the ability to call a doctor and get any treatment or medication needed in a moments notice. But our over privileged society forgets that all too readily, forgets even here in the USA all of the millions that are under-insured, uninsured, cash-pay, that is if they even have enough cash to pay, and thus go without proper care, let alone a stupid test to see if they’ve got it. And still this disease has less than even the 3% death rate of the flu. Soooo scary, not!

You, as an American, still have a better chance of dieing from heart disease, cancer, or a car accident, than all viral diseases put together. Get a fucking clue, but that would mean that the vaccine industry would fail at getting us to keep buying into their trillions of dollars of profits on vaccines. If we’re not scared enough to fall for an untested emergency vaccine, then what might they do in 10 years when vaccine use declines from the hundreds of shots currently pushed, many of which are grossly ineffective, to a mere few of the genuinely worst. I mean when the vaccines they produce have the same 1 to 3% death rate as this disease, you literally have a coin toss as to which risk you’re willing to take. I personally would rather take my chances with the virus any day, because then I can skip the injection which includes formaldehyde, antifreeze, parabens, aluminum, thimerisol (mercury compound), and any number of hundreds of other chemicals commonly found in vaccines. One virus up against my immune system always loses eventually.

And that’s the other thing, learn your own conditions and stop using language you don’t fully understand. I swear if I hear one more person use “I’m immune compromised” improperly I may go postal. Here’s the deal, there are many auto-immune diseases that fall under immuno-deficiency that don’t actually mean you catch every disease that comes along. I have Hashimotos’, it is one such disease. My body attacks my thyroid because my immune system reacts to molecules, chemicals that it learned were bad. It means my general overall health stuffers because I gain weight over everything, every allergen causes me to have a host of thyroid related problems. Yet my overactive immune system kills viruses as efficiently as it tries to kill chemical compounds. So, as far as communicable diseases: I’m splendidly healthy. There’s a pancreatic version, liver disease that’s similar, RA, and nearly a dozen other diseases that fall in the same category. Odly enough (sarcasm) they are all first world diseases. They are all caused by our shitty foods, and toxic chemicals from pesticides, herbicides and preservatives, and yes possibly even the chemicals used in vaccines. We have done it to ourselves. So stop using your autoimmune disorder as a reason for your displaced fears. Get over yourself, learn your own shit for real, and learn what you need to do to heal. I have. Put up or shut up.

And then to top my day off, I stopped at QT for potty break and some unsweetened black raspberry tea. To find out all of the fountain drinks were unavailable, and my choice doesn’t come in a bottle. Okay, so I’m totally okay with eliminating the disposable cups, because even though they are recyclable, many people do trash them- it is good for the environment and I didn’t need a damn virus to go along on that ride, as I usually refill my own container anyway. But the drinks themselves, are you fucking crazy?! If you’re following the sanitization procedures for all food prep, and I know they do, then the drinks are safe. The only thing that can get contaminated is the damn customer handle. In this litigious society, all you need is a damn sign reminding people to be cautious and wash their damn hands after using the spigot. Simple, easy, give me my damn tea. Fucking ludicrous. If I was worried about the spigot, I wouldn’t be in the damn store to begin with. The decisions businesses are making are based on trying to meet the fear of those few clueless illiterate fraidy-cats, and aren’t even based in any real facts or evidence. If you, as a corporation, are going to try and cover your ass, do it right, be informed of actual risks, and act accordingly. If you don’t know, hire someone to tell you who definitely does; not maybe, not kinda, someone who really knows with certainty, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Corporations should be only following CDC guidelines by law, and otherwise seeking well informed legal and medical counsel. Doing anything because it was on the news or someone suggested, or a customer complained, is bad for business and quite risky. If your complaint was from an uninformed illiterate fraidy-cat then you’re setting yourself up for lost income and unnecessary costs. It’s better to preemptively prepare and train as to why it is okay to leave certain things in place, and lable use at your own risk. But hey, I just wanted my damn tea, and knew the risk, which I was willing to take, being certain at this point I’ve already had the damn virus.

So yeah, I am way beyond over this shit. I literally am hitting my livid wall and ready to start making heads roll. I need real sense to start happening, and the kind of logic that moves humanity as a whole forward. First world problems need to stay problems for the few, and leave the rest of the damn world out of it.

So that takes me to what I want to see.

  • My tea back at QT
  • Normal means of sanitization
  • Society being educated on normal disease processes and prevention
  • People owning themselves and being responsible for themselves
  • Only carrying out solutions that improve the whole picture. When the solution is worse than the disease we deserve a choice.
  • Solutions that work for everyone
  • The government putting individual citizens before corporations
  • Government agencies and politicians working together to real compromise solutions that help society and the world at large
  • Making strides to save our home planet so that multiple generations even have a chance at trying to further humanity
  • People having gratitude and perspective and acknowledgement of their privileged positions in society and life. Helping those less fortunate would be wonderful, but at least don’t cause greater problems for those less fortunate
  • Acknowledgement that the worst is indeed over and the disease was overestimated, and beginning to rebuild and repair damage done.
  • Society returning to work
  • People finding common ground
  • People working together
  • People ending name calling and the blame game
  • Less divisive, more unified
  • Caring, kindness, and compassion returning
  • Hugs and handshakes returning
  • People washing hands always, not just because a ‘new’ disease comes through
  • People owning their own health for real
  • Literacy on disease prevention, disease cycles, and sanitization that kills disease without creating super-bugs
  • Less wastefulness
  • Everyone having access to basic needs
  • Everyone having access to healthcare
  • Everyone having proper assistance
  • Everyone having clean water and proper waste management
  • Everyone having safe basic homes
  • Everyone having access to multivitamins and other genuinely helpful immune boosters (the ones that don’t inject chemicals into your bloodstream or have 1-3% fatalities)
  • Society reclaiming basic human rights
  • Society supporting individual rights
  • Less pollution
  • More safety
  • More genuine security
  • More rehabilitation programs
  • More assistance programs for needy and impoverished
  • Government by the people for the people, not by the corporate citizen for the corporate citizen.
  • Feeling supported and cared for
  • Feeling like my voice matters and makes a difference
  • Feeling like things are moving in positive directions again
  • Feeling like humanity has good things to look forward to
  • Feeling like the divine is helping us
  • Feeling like the divine is guiding us and intervening as needed
  • Feeling like the problems are being replaced by real usable solutions
  • Feeling like my life matters
  • Feeling like the world is someplace I want to be again
  • Feeling like humanity has a real chance
  • Feeling like not all is doomed
  • Feeling like change is happening and for the better
  • Feeling of positive progress
  • Feeling that we’re headed for better days
  • Feeling relief

May your rants always help you feel better and help you reach for better feeling thoughts. May we all get through this okay, especially those of us that did our best to keep the sanity. May those less fortunate be supported by those whom are the fortunate. May humanity progress and the whole world see improvement. May our world find lasting cleanliness for both our health and the health of the planet. May we all see the greater ripple effect and our role at creating improvement. May we all come together to compromise for solutions that work for everyone. May God’s light shine the way to better days.

Siva Hir Su

I will remind you: you turned down quick and painless.

So this week I have come to terms with not being able to fix anything or change anyone, even myself. I have given it a good long hard effort for “paultry results” as Abraham would say. I simply can’t physically do it, and even mentally there are too many thought habbits that I have failed to change. I’m still trying, still meditating frequently, and Nathan reminded me that sometimes winning really looks like just not loosing.

It’s little consolation.

However, regardless of my ability to fix anything, I am still that opinionated out spoken brawd that is going to remind you later of your own failure, as it somehow makes me feel better about my own.

The one eating at me right now, for no aparent reason, is quick painless vs long painful. I can’t count the number of conversations that I have participated in with adults of all ages, even some minors, that all ask for the short/quick and painless death. Every single one of those conversations also acknowledging a belief in some greater power/God including a sentiment of praying for the desired outcome it when it’s their time to go.

Yet, Covid19 comes along and it’s like everyone has forgotten their request, suddenly petrified of the idea of a virus being that solution.

To me, God, and the universe, if you ask for short/quick and painless; what does it matter how that is accomplished? It doesn’t matter if it’s a car accident, heart attack, massive stroke, aneurysm, silent cancer, or virus. They all have the potential to fulfill the quick painless request.

If it’s your time, it’s your time.

Beyond that, your fear of the virus is telling the medical establishment that you are in favor of slow and painful. If you are one of the few that gets the virus and has severe complications (because it’s your time) and is hospitalized for it, they will put you on a ventilator and treat all the symptoms to the best of their ability. You’ve now taken what could have been a couple of days and turned it into potentially weeks of suffering before your exit. Because as I’ve said many times, if it’s your time and the doctors do manage to get you well, something else will come along for another possible solution for your exit. I’ve watched so many people get sick 2 or 3 times in a row before finally letting go and relaxing into the afterlife. Their potentially short quick painless death turned into weeks and weeks of suffering.

That’s just in relation to cyclical diseases like flu and pneumonia. Additionally, everyone with any long term condition, so overly concerned about Covid19, is saying the same thing to the medical establishment. If you have: cancer, lukemia, rheumatoid arthritis, dementia, diabetes, chrones, or any one of the many other severe diseases that we have no solid cure for, and you are petrified of Covid19, then your message is loud and clear: “I like living a long, painful life”. You are literally saying I don’t mind living for years with pain, inflammation, and my body attacking itself repeatedly; I would rather live that way, then have a measly little virus do me in and end all the pain.

It seems horribly messed up to me. I half wish I had been one of the lucky ones that got the quick exit, except I’m certain that mystery virus I had in February was Covid19 and was no worse for me than the flu. Those that were lucky enough to get the quick exit, got out of this mess we now call life and are probably in the ethers laughing hysterically at everyone that is living in fear.

Beyond that, I’m still super annoyed that this virus still has any airtime at all. There are dozens of long term problems in our world that have far worse death tolls than Covid19. Poor water quality, lack of sanitization of any kind for vast portions of our world, lack of indoor plumbing causing disease to spread through improper human waste management, poverty, lack of proper healthcare for easily cured diseases like salmonella, lack of access for all to said proper healthcare even when it does exist, homes that don’t protect people from the elements, homelessness, nutritionally deficient children worldwide (even/especially in the oh-so-great USA), nutritionally deficient people in general, starvation, and yes even global warming (if we don’t solve that, the whole world will eventually suffer and die).

All of these things are continuous problems that we have solutions for, yet continuously fail to implement said solutions because of big dollars. Yet big business, especially big pharma, have no problem making money off all your scared asses because of a measly virus. If we stood up for what is right and just, and sucked up our own stupid fears, the money being made off of Covid19 could become money used to solve any number of the other long term problems we have the knowledge to solve. If you invested the money you waste on doctors and ineffective vaccines on Charitywater.org you would give 10 families clean water for their lifetime. If you invested the money you have wasted on not-cures there could be charity waste programs. If you invested the money you dump on the junk filled foods that cause all the long-term incurable diseases, you could help people get access to antibiotics for actual curable diseases, and might spare yourself more food-disease suffering.

But that is just another one of my half-baked cock-eyed wishful-thinking dreams. My dreams will never exist in my lifetime. Humanity is too dumb to get it, or too lazy to really care about real solutions.

May you have attainable dreams. May you have more faith in humanity. May you believe in yourself and others. May real solutions be found and worked on in meaningful ways. May you see your place on this Earth and make strides for living your best most helpful life. May your words matter and help people to stop, think, and change patterns for better results. May we all work towards better living for everyone. May we feel God’s grace and know we are doing our best to be of assistance to the divine.

Siva Hir Su

Just so I’m not completely ranty, I’ll end with a funny from the Waldo Facebook Group that Nathan shared with me via email… You know since I still boycott Facebook myself.


Repost… to clear up any confusion
The Rules:
1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help.
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GO OUT.
8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..
12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but no…
13. It’s better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don’t go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).
14. You can’t go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If you are sick, you can’t go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn’t wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with ” I don’t want to trigger panic, but…”
18. You can’t see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don’t live under the same roof.
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn’t say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
22. The virus stays in the air – well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
23. We count the number of deaths but we don’t know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were “almost dead” to find out if that’s what they will die of…
24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). Orange man bad.
25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?