These are all the real things that no one wants to hear, but feel spectacular when I acknowledge them.
Go ahead and kill me. We’re all going to end up dead anyway. Every last one of us at some point, it’s inevitable. And I’m not like 99% of the world afraid to die. Hell it’d solve a lot of my problems. I’d never have to work to pay bills again. I’d never have to take responsibility for shit I didn’t cause again. I’d never have to tell people their real problem preventing their own progress, or better yet problems with the systems they buy into. I’d never have to rub on people in futility doing my damnedest to convince them to just fucking relax and let go for once. I’d never have to work and do all the other things too. I’d be free and easy, and I know that is in my vortex. Besides, who fucking wants to stay here anyway? Does anyone actually enjoy life for real? Ever? Everyone and every government wants to spend all day everyday fighting each other and everyone else too, all in a stupid war to see who can convince the most that they are right and powerful. There aren’t fun pleasant things to even talk about anymore, let alone go do without significant discomfort or hassle. It’s covid this, politics that, doctors this, and on and on and on. Everyone missed Thumper’s lesson 40 years ago, a whole lotta not nice going on all the fucking time. So yeah, just fucking kill me and get it over with. I asked for easy, I asked for fun, I asked for better, I reached for all of them, and I’ve got this bullshit that is nothing like what I asked for. Can’t eat anything hardly at all, let alone anything I want. Still fat and ugly, still an assload of problems I can’t fix. Still praying for better daily, still working myself to better vibrations, like this is doing wonders for the way I feel- it feels spectacular. How about I just go to sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow. That’s the death scenario I know is in my vortex. I’m totally fine with that. I’m over fighting. I’m over hearing complaining about everything in the world. I’m over listening to everyone else’s negative ninies, and having no way to release it without repetition. I’m just over it, every bit of it. This world sucks and I’m totally willing to go. Heaping steaming pile of toxic waste sludge from mankind’s careless stupidity. So much toxicity there is nowhere to turn or run to. My organs are trashed from repeat viral infections and medicine has no fix only costly lifetime treatments for symptoms, which I really don’t even care to try and navigate anymore. I’m over it. I’m over lazy doctors and useless treatments. I’m over trying to come up with money I don’t have. I’m good. You’ve trashed my whole family with repeat diseases. Just let us all go. How about tonight in our sleep we all die. End of story. Sleep. No living again. I’m good with that. Hell it’d end at least our 5 portions of Epstein-Barr/Mono and Covid viruses. Hell the whole world should just let go. You want to end Covid, just let it win. Everyone that hasn’t had it will be the only survivors, and *poof*: no Covid ever again. I’m good with that. I’m a willing sacrifice. Go ahead, make my day, end the suffering for once and for all. I’d have no pain, no stiffness, no headaches, no digestive trouble, no diarrhea or constipation, no loss of energy, no fatigue or exhaustion, no brain failures, no discomfort of any kind. I’d feel better than I’ve ever felt before, because there is no health or lack of it, if you no longer have a body. And no disease or resistance is possible once you’re dead, I’d be my full genius self again. There would be nothing to worry about, no place to be at a certain time, no things I’d have to do. Just done. Financially off the hook for all eternity, if everyone died we’d all be debt free instantly, and there would be no credit agencies or big banks anymore. That actually sounds quite wonderful. I like the sound of that, even knowing that you can’t flow money at all once you’re dead, if that were true Nathan’s ex would have used the afterlife to repay the debts and ripples she caused. And go ahead and give the divine mother back her planet. If we’re all gone then she’d have a much easier time fixing all the shit that we have done. We’ve raped and pillaged and plundered and poisoned everything and everyone until disease has touched everything and everyone. There is no one safe, even our land, our waters and our air, have been poisoned beyond human repair. We will all die eventually because man is too stupid to know when he’s done too much. Man is too stupid to know when to stop. Just fucking stop. The divine mother would have a much welcomed relief if we all just died- now. Do you have any idea how many problems would be solved in one fell swoop by all humans being destroyed. Maybe just maybe it’s the best thing that has ever happened. I simply just ask that for my family, we all go at once, easy peasy, no mess to clean up or financial problems, just 5 burials that the state can manage (maybe- I’m not sure any government can manage anything useful or good anymore). And if everyone was gone all the toxins from all the manufacturing would end because there would be no products to make to sell, because there would be no people to sell to. There would be no fossil fuels to consume because the few people left could survive on the turbines already up and running. And housing, there wouldn’t be enough people to sustain mortgage companies, and there would be billions of empty houses. The few people left could just pick where they want to live, end of story. All of the pollution would suddenly cease. It seems like a great plan to me. Solve everything at once, mass genocide. It’s all good. And it’s not like we’d be missing anything anyway. Once your buffet of choices is all just piles of toxic shit, it leaves humans saying “no, I’m good, I don’t need any more suffering”. Once there’s toxic choices to the left, to the right, front and back and center, one decides none of it is worth it. I had a client tell me “Live in Christ, die in Christ.” They were trying to express peace with death. Well there’s not anyone really living in Christ anymore, so we might as well all die in Christ. This is really seeming like a win+win the more I look at it. We’d all be free, we’d all find relief, even the planet would be able to recover eventually. Sign me up, under one condition, the willing (myself included) get the easiest, quickest, most seamless transition.
I really am good with that.
Besides, no one really wants to hear me either God. I know how you feel. Let’s commiserate on the other side: we’d be demiGod and demiGoddess smushing humans together, and letting the Earth heal.
May you find your least resistant thought. May you see the easiest solution as valid, regardless as to what that is. May you know that you deserve more than pain and suffering for a lifetime. May you know that the divine always knows what is best; it is totally okay to release, let go and let God. May you see that your life made an impact even if it was brief. May you know you did your best in this world. May you forgive yourself and all of humanity for our stupidity. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.