Tag Archives: reaching for better

Better than that.

As one of my friends said “If pregnancy is God’s will, then we better take Viagra away too, because so is that limp dick.”

It fit with my prior writings, and was quite hilarious, so I wanted to share, but this post is genuinely aimed at better.

May that which my brain senses as God and his will, die and be cleansed from my being, because I deserve better than the torment and torture it has led to in my life. I deserve my freedom from what my brain labeled as God, regardless of its true source/cause.

May my children experience the same release and freedom, because right now I regret having had them, and I wish I didn’t. I know my children are better than that which I experience, and I know that they are suffering just as I am, and I feel the cause is beyond my control. If I had known this would be the result, I would never have given birth to begin with. So, we all deserve better, we all deserve healing freedom from the darkness, from that which we were taught was God’s will.

May society be freed from God’s will also. There are millions arguing for their own demise, their own burdens, their own torture, because they have been lied to too many times. Allow them all to be free from the burdens and lies of this darkness we all learned to call God’s will.

May everyone see that bearing children is not requisite for life on this planet, regardless as to whether a few stupid people attempt to make us. May you know you are always in control of your own body, and that birthing anything or anyone is your own choice, which starts in the mind. If unwanted, all one must do is push it out of the mind and starve it of anything it needs to grow. Own your own choices fully, even when it is terminating a thought, desire, intention, or conception. You can always decide, regardless of external influences, and where there is will, there is always a way.

As amusing, and financially lucrative, as it would be to start restaurants like “Chips in Dale’s” or “Schlong’s Deli”, especially next to every “Hooters” in the nation, may we never actually see that day. May we all find balance and bring the maddness to an end.

May there never be a child born unwanted, severely damaged, or poisoned with recreational drugs. May there never be a mother killed in childbirth only because her unborn baby was seen as more valuable. May everyone understand their choices and beliefs are their own and they have no right to enforce anything on anyone else.

May those intent on keeping guns intended for killing (especially humans), see they are no different than a doctor choosing between the life of an unborn child and the living mother. Really no one human has the right to take the life of another, but self-preservation often causes loss of life, be it by scalpel or gun. One is not more offensive than the other, they are both grotesque necessities, which need to be protected for the moments when they are necessary.

May I feel my freedom propelling me beyond limitations learned. May relief be immediately palpable. May life inprove for me and everyone from this day forward. May we all see and understand more clearly moving forward. May balance be restored. May prosperity reign in only glorious and life supporting ways.

May all systems (health, government, business, society) see the failures of our past and use them as brief reminders of what to fix and what solutions we truly need. We’d be of no need to force pregnancies if government and healthcare hadn’t failed at stopping COVID, and the kicker is we still don’t. There are enough people that wish to bear many children that society will again risk becoming too populous in time, anti-abortion or not. Turn-over should never be terminology for old dieing and new being born, let the natural flow guide us forever more.

May those in power and acting as TV’s guiding personalities, see their mistakes and missteps, and how it caused society to distrust them. May they all use that knowledge to better themselves, and do better for the masses moving forward.

May we all feel safe, supported, and know we have our own freedoms to do what is right for us moving forward. May we all know that we belong in this world, may men know and correct their abuses, and may all women know they are worth more than just producing children. May the biological -gender population balance, be fully reflected in rights, wages, careers, and all other aspects affecting humanity. May the balance be evident everywhere.

May the divine goddess be honoured in every woman, and may all women be shown respect in every moment of every day they live. May the goddess ensure that no woman ever be further punished for being a victim of man’s assault, and may the goddess remove men who attack women in any manner as they are damaged beyond earthly healing. Balance be restored.

Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Grieve false loss?

Supposed to
Grieve
Loss of
Mother
But what
Mother
Did I
Loose

I had
Two children
With no one
But my husband
By my side

I've dealt
With all of it
On my own
Poverty doubled
Housing bubble &
Medically Induced

I've handled
Bills
Heart
Kidneys
Schooling
Transportation
Depression of
Postpartum
And life
Major
Life
Decisions
All on my own

What family did
I loose?

There was
None
When I
Needed it
Still
Isn't

What did
I loose?

Random
Phonecalls
I made
When hubby
Stirred
Guilt

Sad stories
Repeated
When
Offered
Alternatives
Went ignored

I lost
Invented
Guilt

I lost
Energetic
Burdens

I lost
Shame
Of being
Different

None of
Those
Feel
Like
Grief

The only
Wish I
Had
Was
That I
Lost the
Inherited
Dis-ease
As well

I'm better
Than all
Of That
Deserving
Rewards
Immense

I take
My loss
And Move on
Just like
Every
Other
Hurdle
I faced
Overcome

I am
Strong
And some
Days
I wish
I weren't
But I am

So now
What?
What do
I move
Into?


       ~Treasa Cailleach

May you see better days ahead. May you receive what you needed all along. May you have everything you need and desire. May you enjoy life more, toil less, and see this beautiful world we live in. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

“A Tale Dark and Grimm.”

A Netflix original, animated series. I’m watching it with my kids, while doing my best to pull out of my nosedive. It has many good learning lessons in it and just like other shows I’ve watched with my kids lately, it stirred contemplation. I felt like it was making some sense of senseless, for me right now. So, I’m working on it.

  • I want to be me and be safe and be happy.
  • I want to find healing and peace.
  • I want to feel again, especially love, and balance my thoughts with my feelings.
  • I want to enjoy the fun of life and still be safe and happy.
  • I want all my divine masculines/feminines to be healed and safe and happy.
  • I want my divine masculines/feminines  to know they were sold by the establishment, in their unique views, to the devil/darkness, and it’s not their fault. We were all duped one way or another.
  • I want my divine masculines/feminines to understand the addiction of the hunt, and find their balance with nature.
  • I want my divine masculines/feminines to balance their feelings with thought and vice versa.
  • I want us all to feel loved and know that the feeling of goodness is the answer.
  • I want my divine masculines/feminines to find their successes.
  • I want my divine masculines and feminines to be healed and more balanced in all ways.
  • I want us all to feel good.
  • I want us all to feel peace and comfortable.
  • More berries, and veggies, but a good mix of all of it. Too much of anything can make you crazy.
  • Even fish is okay in moderation.
  • Too much meat and/or sugar can make you crazy faster, and possibly lead to doom, because it causes imbalance both inside and out.
  • Adventure is only fun when you don’t balme yourself for things going wrong.
  • Find your courage and release your guilt.
  • You have to heal your own broken heart, no one can fit it for you.
  • Filling the void with food, or anyone or anything else, is certain doom.
  • Acknowledge that self has made it through a lot and none of it was intended, but beating the self up for it will only bring more pain.
  • Sometimes sacrifice is necessary to do something genuinely good, but never assume that you have the right reason for something having happened, and again be kind to one’s self for having made the sacrifice.
  • Listening to your heart and instincts may seem weird, but is a really good thing, when intellect- knowing the source- is the moderator to keep your self safe.
  • See the failings of others as reminders to stay focused on your self, know how to avoid the doom they bring.
  • Forgive yourself and others for everything, especially kin and parents.
  • See how those that hurt you were duped or disconnected in some way, their inner self would never have let the hurt happen.
  • See the warning signs, stay connected to the earth, the tree of life, and hear what the rain tells you. The guidance is everywhere if you allow yourself to see, hear and feel it.
  • The charming pirate may stir good feelings, but is more likely to cause disaster than actually fix what has to be healed from within. That is also true of the others with good intentions, but whom carry a slice of their own crazy needing healed.
  • The journey is helpful in finding all the elements of healing that your self needs.
  • In the end, all will be okay.

May  you see the helpful information in your experience. May you understand why everything is in your experience. May you figure everything out as quickly as possible to save yourself grief and/or guilt, and be kind to yourself when you don’t. May you know everything and everyone can be healed. May we all feel safe, loved and find our successes. May we all be peaceful and comfortable. May we all have easier days and more things to be grateful for, and find the forgiveness for ourself and others. May life get easier and easier for everyone. May we navigate away from demons and darkness, towards the light and joy life was intended to be. May we all be happily content and having the funest journey of all time. We are all free to choose, and may we all choose the best over the worst. Above all, may we know the divine loves and supports us in all that we do.

Om Shanti

Figured it out: 2

So, I found myself reevaluating my SG/SJ (or is it JS?) Online duo from aeons ago. I realized that at this point, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out at least one half of the duo, I don’t need confirmation anymore. Not only that, I have come to a comfortable place of not wanting or needing them to do anything. I realized that even if they did come forward with honesty, that at this point I would probably be wary of a continuation of that dishonesty and all their half-truths, and it would be rather pointless. I also realized that I would have difficulty trusting much of anything, and that isn’t what a solid relationship is built upon. Additionally, I realized that anyone willing to do what was done, and not seek forgiveness sooner, has bigger psychological problems needing addressed that I’d rather avoid. Especially in a been there, done that, sort-of way. I know that I personally deserve better because I did already deal with that, and in several instances in my lifetime. I won and now it’s time for rewards.

That then stirred thinking.

Between relearning how to play Magic the Gathering, and relearning to separate singular from plural “they”  by using “they are” vs “they are all”, and several other similar relearnings, I know am doing better and better everyday.

The biggest factor is because I am learning to play the new game of life, with the new rules, and I’m doing quite well with it.

We are all in that boat, and some of us are doing better than others. Those that are unable to learn the new ways will eventually perish. I’d like to believe that I am doing better than enough to survive, but only time will tell. For that reason I’m grateful to every person that helps me learn an aspect of the new ways. Yet I’m not perfect and still make my own mistakes. So, I am also grateful when I figure something out enough to help my children or those around me, but I’m also grateful when those around me have patience with my moments of failure where I’m still playing catch up.

I think it’s time we all start cooperating and working together to navigate this new world we are living in. I think it’s time to acknowledge limitations so that we can work together to compensate for those limitations and find better solutions. I believe it is time to let go of forcing ourselves or anyone else to do, act, behave, or be certain ways. There are more options than that, if we let them in, and frankly I would love to let all of the good in.

For me personally I am doing my best. I am doing my best to be a kinder, gentler mom, and show my children how to navigate this world one step at a time. I am doing my best to be a good friend to those I care about, and show them I do care, by thinking of them and then following through with those moments of thought. I’m doing my best to take care of my husband and help him.

But beyond all of that I am doing my best to acknowledge my own limitations and give myself a break. I would love to do more for more people, hell I would love to do more for those I already care about. Sometimes I feel bad because I want to do more and can’t, and I’m doing my best to come to terms with the fact that I am only one human, and I do have limits of both time and resources. You can only fit so much into a day or week, and you can only help so many before it takes a toll on self, and that is where I’m at. It has started taking a toll and I must care for myself or I will break again.

So, today I have focused on positive self-talk and the things that I need. I have focused on moments that I have provided for others and asked: “How I can let those same moments in for myself?” I have focused on movements and what my body is telling me: what is tight, where are the restrictions and why. I have focused on giving my body space to breathe and for energy to flow. I have chased down blocks for both clients and myself, even if there are many more to go. I did a little art work on my big commissions, and bought a bouquet of flowers for a friend who’s under-the-weather from chemo. I have flowed the Reiki for myself and my clients. And, I have written this to congratulate myself, because if no one else does, then I must honor and respect myself. I am doing my best, and all things considered it’s not half bad, so I deserve to have kudos in any form it takes.

There are solutions and I am intent on finding them. I wish for everyone around me to heal, and the best way to enable that is to figure out this new life and the new rules, and make it work well enough for myself to show others it is possible. We all deserve better and I will continue to do my best to pave a way for that.

I am doing better and better, and I wish that for everyone, and I deserve to see it begin to manifest. My body is healing, slowly, but surely, and I wish that for everyone. Let’s make this plandemic fail and let all the chips fall. We can do it if we all work together and acknowledge that because of said event, the world and human experience, has changed in many ways. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube there is no going back. We must all do our best to move forward and find new ways of living, but most of all find new ways to work together for actual solutions. Humanity will evolve, or our species will quickly become extinct. For me personally, I have new dietary needs and reactions, and healing damage to organs can take a long while. I will continue to do my best to support my body as fully as I am able.

I am doing my best to let go of the past, the old ways, the old rules, the old language structure, the old habbits of being. Because, only in letting go can I allow the new ways to be absorbed/learned. I deserve to allow as much as I am humanly able, and I deserve to experience patience from those around me. Everything takes time, everything in due time.

I am worthy and I deserve to be free and healthy.

You do too!

May you see your way to allowing better for yourself and others. May you have patience with others still learning the things you’ve mastered first. May you see there are many ways to accomplish the same goals, and that everyone deserves access to all of them, not just a singular one to be forced. May you see that health is more than avoiding disease, and that often the human experience is learning how to overcome any obstacle you face. May you see that how well you navigate all obstacles is a major factor in your health. May you understand that feelings felt are the indicator of how accurate your thought was, and really have no bearing on the topic thought about. May you see a way to find the best feeling thought regardless of how tough the topic at hand is. May we all survive this shift and find a way to thrive in this new version of human experience. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti

Cloud surfing.

I have been feeling the need for some positive focus in a major way. In lieu of my grand dreams of Atira Community, I’d take some more practical Tessering. So I’m going to focus on the paradigm I’d like to be in right now, and aim at it based on my current reality. Essentially, I’m going to focus on what my ideal next step would be. As in from right where I sit right now: what is the best improvement in all areas that is reachable?

My ideal health situation would be: My own personal health, and that of my family, finds balance and is more easily maintainable. The tools to accomplish that would be easily afforded and/or covered by insurance, and would be toxin-free and side-effect-free. I could do the IV nutrient treatments in an affordable or covered way. I could heal organs for myself and my family. We could eat normal foods in normal quantities again. We would all be healthy weight, strong, flexible, and have healthy nutrient levels in our bodies. All of our bodily systems would function easily and seamlessly to provide a sense of overall consistent health. My family would make friends with focusing on meditation and yoga to help maintain their balance. They would find other enjoyable ways to help maintain that balance as well. We would all feel good consistently.

My ideal financial situation would be: The income I have been able to produce consistently these last few years, would come with fewer hours and still be minimal stress levels to help maintain health. A wonderful bonus would be if the wages increased a bit, and was still fewer hours and minimal stress. That would be wonderful because it would help to pay things off sooner, and I might be able to save time for tree sculptures and other activities I’ve been unable to accomplish. It would also help me to provide things that the teen has requested (car insurance for her to drive). It would be an increase of enjoyment along side financial relief and less hands on work. That would be amazing.

My ideal home would be: Enough time to keep regular chores caught up and finish projects started. I still have trim to finish installing in Anya’s room, and the drywall patch needs sanded and re-painted, I’d love to finish those things. There are still a few little silly things that have just never made the priority cut, like one door needs the kick plate installed. A wonderful bonus would be having enough income and/or time to tackle the big projects that have been indefinitely postponed: exterior paint job and addressing window replacements. Our home is beautiful and I love the idea of making it even better, by addressing the few not ideal items. I look forward to being able to do that easily and in a way that fits with schedule needs. It would also enable more contemplation and possibly even action towards things that have been considered to make our yard and kitchen beautiful as well. That would be most excellent. I look forward to moments like that.

My ideal community would be: Open, fully functional, healthy, lighter, and at peace. People would be secure in their beingness and open to others doing the same, regardless of how that manifests. We would all be free to choose and we would all reach for better. People would begin to walk away from arguments on differences, and embrace each other based on common ground. People would reach for things that feel good and look for ways to appreciate each other regardless of uniqueness. There would be even more beautiful plants and trees, and caring for the environment would be evident everywhere I go. Recycling would become even easier to accomplish, and everyone would make efforts to maintain cleanliness in our community and in our world. We would embrace the changing weather patterns and work together to adjust to the changes. We would all work together to find compromises and solutions to all of our challenges in every arena. Bipartisan would become a collective of positive forward motions and change for the better. Acknowledgment of failures would be propulsion towards a collective reaching for alternative solutions. We would all work together for the betterment of mankind and the world. We would all aim for balance with nature and help improve the world in every way for lasting progress, and hopefully increase humanity’s chance of survival for many generations to come (only in balance will humans continue to flourish). Institutions would recognize when they are failing the collective and adjust their actions and motivations to meet the needs of the collective. Governments would do likewise. Both institutions and governments would serve us best by acknowledging that though no action will be perfect for everyone, there are actions that would be a better solution for most, and those would be the actions that bring everyone together again. Institutions and governments would also acknowledge that because no one decision is perfect for everyone, they would enable choice in participation, we would be allowed to maintain our freedoms and our human rights. They would acknowledge that they are charged with making decisions for the majority and finding ways to enable those decisions for all whom wish to participate, but that human freedom is pertinent regardless. (Example: Education is supported and structured, but any one family can choose public vs private vs homeschool at their own judgement and risk.) That concept is embraced and applied in all areas of life. Institutions would embrace the energetic world knowing that more and more people are aware and open to it, and medicine would be served to learn more about it and find ways to help people with it.

My world would change slowly enough to enable most people to keep up and survive, to heal enough to lead healthy lives. Only those that are unable to keep up would perish, and that could easily be a slim margin with more available options.

These ramblings are my broad view of things on my mind and where I wish to see them head. Hopefully you see the overarching theme and how it applies to your experience.

May we all get through these changing times in one piece. May we all have the healing we seek. May you see that you are doing your level best to provide yourself with everything you need. May you give yourself the best possible options you can. May you find forgiveness for yourself when you are unable to give yourself the best available. May you love and respect yourself and everyone around you. May you see the light that our world needs and find every way possible to bring it into your days. May we all work together for better and brighter days. Above all may you know that the divine loves and supports you in all that you do.

Om Shanti