Tag Archives: Reiki

Given clarity

When I first started using ‘Siva Hir Su’ as a ‘blessing’ and for Reiki, it was given to me by my ‘ET’ as something that would help. It was during the time that I was on-again off-again with my online love-interest chat-relationship.

It felt like relief, it felt helpful. I used it on myself, and it helped. I used it on my clients and they would feel lighter and leave more relaxed.

Having only ‘heard’ it mentally, I looked up the translation, which was difficult. I suspect it’s sanskrit and resources for translating sanskrit are not easy to use. I ended up piecing together the meaning by comparing sources of translations of both sanskrit and Hindi versions of the words.

I literally had to go word by word, and even then it was difficult because Su has multiple meanings depending on placement and conjugations.

Originally I settled with what fit and flowed best energetically.

Siva is a derivation of Shiva, but specifically in reference to the omnipresent quality, the energy of everything, all that is.

Hir and Su were harder for me.

Hir I eventually found was “quintessence” in Hindi. My most difficult experience for that word was finding a site that I could put what I thought it sounded like and get all the close spellings. It took several tries and I eventually got the aforementioned definition linked to both my spelling and the spelling ‘Heer’.

And su literally seemed to have hundreds of meanings depending on location in the sentence, conjugations, and even gender. But when I was looking at definition of the other two words, the one that seemed to fit best was “good”.

So when I assembled all of the definitions it seemed to mean “the quintessence of all that is, is good”. I thought, that’s interesting, it’s similar to “the light of god is here” which is a common christian prayer and used in Healing Touch treatments.

Regardless, every time I used it, it seemed to help a lot, and clients always walked away feeling better and noticing the difference, especially in the feel of the session.

Recently, however, spirit clarified for me.

I was reminded of Shiva’s destructive side. I was mentally shown stories of the god archetype, and reminded of how many things my father had destroyed (some before there was the ability to enjoy whatever it was, and others before there was ability to create a new better version). Essentially, I understood that ‘Siva Hir Su’ was flowing that portion of God that destroyed the old or negative. It’s not a bad thing, but like guns should be used much more descriminantly than I was when I received it originally.

It’s highest use is when there is an awareness of a negative (worry, fear, anger, blockage, tightness, tension, problem) that removal of said negative would allow for natural God force healing to correct and fill/heal the void.

So, unlike my father, I now have the sense to not destroy something that is too much for healing energy to correct quickly.

For instance, I won’t point it at my husband’s bad heart because he needs to live for his small children and the slower path to healing is better for his situation.

However, with my dad (whom has already decided that “his way or the highway” has failed and has no desire to change himself, so why not throw in the towel), it would be ideal because it would start breaking down those faulty aspects, and if he did die, it doesn’t seem like he would care with as little effort as he has put to staying alive.

So for now, I am trying to navigate the choices to aim it at it’s highest use and purpose. I still use it on clients, but specify for it to destroy the tension and whatever stress is behind it. Also, I have curbed using it on my blog for now because I realized I was putting it at the end after the blessing. I don’t want to destroy the blessing, only the negatives that I am venting about to release. So until I wrap my brain around segmenting each post so that it can just follow the negatives, I’m just avoiding it for now. Eventually, I’ll figure out my new format to reintroduce this helpful tool.

On a side note, today’s struggles from my previous post have stirred an urge to shut off my blog or start a new one. I’m also working through that and doing my best not to act for now. The air is thick and I know it is impacting me, so I’m doing my best to just pull up and do nothing else for now.

May you have gifts of healing and change given to you by God. May you understand fully how to use them properly. May they benefit you as much as anyone you use them on. May you find all the healing you seek. May you have good health and positive vibes in your life. Live long and prosper.

Om Shanti

Screaming or Cowbell?

So my weeks have been very busy. I’ve been in constant motion for nearly a month, having only had one day with any notable downtime. It’s not all been working, but a vast majority of it has been.

I’ve made strides to put my puzzle back together. Right now, with the help of wonderful friends; I have diet, supplements, exercise, and sleep mostly worked out and staying together. Also, I am getting a little bit of meaningful social interaction through staying with those good friends (though I sometimes apparently overly worry about being a nuisance and outstaying my welcome), and I feel like I could benefit from more socializing, if only there were a few more hours in my week, The one thing I am still lacking is enough quality light, but with 4.5 out of 6 puzzle pieces, I’m hanging in fairly well. Some Days better than others.

This last week, Tuesday was all about our weekly shopping and errands because between everything else it was the only opportunity. All day with a cranky toddler bouncing stores was difficult, but manageable. One of the stops was a friend’s house where I bestowed helpful gifts to her and she returned the favor by bestowing Nathan with a bunch of photography equipment. It made his day.

Wednesday was the icing on the cake. It was a fit-it-in the best-we-could, trip to visit my parents and brother in Iowa. One which was filled with little Ian being as cranky as he could be; hard for a 3 hour drive. At one point he saw a cow-bell that had been tucked under the seat since last Halloween, over a year ago. After screaming at his sister several times that he wanted it, I said “Just give him the damn cow-bell, it’s cow-bell or screaming, and I’m sick of the screaming.” So then we had several periods of cow-bell filled driving throughout the day, I’m not sure it was the best choice, but still a notch better than screaming.

We had lunch and a couple of hours of visiting with my dad, where upon he bestowed more gifts. I’m very appreciative of them because they were things I’d wanted but not been able to obtain myself. Additionally they represented confirmation of my most recent request for a physical manifestation that things were moving. I needed physical evidence of what I thought I’d been getting through my various messages. Dad’s gifts, and even the photo equipment from our friend, were definitely that, they were things we’d asked for and the universe just plunked them down into our experience. It was nice to have a physical manifestation of our process, and expressing gratitude over that was nice. I look forward to the rest of the journey now that I have some validation of what I’ve been seeing.

After visiting with dad we drove about 40 min further to see my mom and younger brother for dinner at an in-between-spot for everyone. It too was a nice visit. None of my family has the ability to host any of our visits, and we have equal inability to host any one of them visiting, so a few hours in a restaurant is as good as it gets. Yet it was good quality time.

The one thing that left me shaking my head is that both parents very clearly stated they were ready to check out, exit this experience, and croak. The both seemed very intent on making sure that I knew that and that they intended to be as little burden as possible. I found myself asking Nathan on the way home “Why on earth did my parents both tell me that? Isn’t it bad enough that I play energetic-grim-reaper with nursing-home-peeps all the time? Why do they have to express a desire to check out, to me? It’s like they asked me in as close of muggle vocabulary as they have, to help them check out – energetically, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” Nathan replied with something like: at least they respect me enough to want to eliminate being a burden, and that they on some level honor and respect my abilities. I suppose, it’s just really strange, and I know I’ll miss them. Despite the strife in our family over the last decade, I will still miss my parents when they are gone. I suppose it just is.

I told God that I respected their choice to want to exit early, swiftly, and gracefully, and asked for divine assistance on that one. I can still send energy their way from afar, but I’d rather leave that one up to the divine. This is one instance where I’m personally not seeing the immediate benefit of someone relaxing into their croaking experience. I’m sure there is one, I just don’t see it, so I question whether or not my abilities would be helpful in this situation. Yet, I’ve told the divine I’ll do whatever is needed of me, and if that means zap my parents with Reiki then that’s what I’ll do. Just waiting on confirmation of that from the divine.

Any-who, beyond that I’ve worked a lot, gotten my bare minimums of exercise, and done my best to increase sleep. I think baby is wanting me to sleep 9 hours a night, but most nights I manage about 8. It means I constantly feel draggy, but functional. No naps, and not nearly enough caffeine to make up the difference. Yet, it is enough that I pulled out of the depression nose-dive I was in for a couple of weeks there.

I still think about my online boy. One of the friends that I have stayed with gave me an interesting perspective on the situation calling him a tantric twin, which is apparently very similar to, but not exactly the same as twin flame. I told her if that’s the case then I, Nathan and him are at least triplets, and being that I’ve had thoughts of another woman in the same energetic vicinity, there could be quadruplets. She laughed and said it’s entirely possible. Regardless she had some helpful thoughts on why I can’t let go of him despite the lack of communication, and offered some suggestions for me to try. The goal at the moment is that I’ve taken easy access off of my phone, and to that end I’ve been doing more guided meditations, mantras, and asking for my dreams to provide guidance. I know my mood is better and I’m more hopeful, than when I was constantly checking in and realizing he wasn’t going to respond.

It also seems like the divine does want something to come of it. I say this because of this:

IMG_20171117_121425_01

For work Thursday morning I went to look up Daily Devotionals for our morning devotional reading, knowing the residents were finding my droning voice unappealing. I literally typed Daily Devotional into the YouTube search bar on the work computer which I’ve never, ever, logged into using my personal information. It’s a generic computer that no-one logs into.  The top 7 results included what you see here. The first 3 were christian devotionals, exactly what I had aimed to find to appease residents. Then 2 were Shiva devotionals, more what I would prefer; but then I noticed one of the 2 was in Telugu. That’s the language I’d started learning just for the online man,  knowing that learning another’s language efficiently expresses how much you care about them. The bottom video on the list was Depeche Mode’s “Devotional” performance. As I listened to the first few minuets of that, I realized they were all songs that I had already associated with him. Additionally this was all after I had already seen visual messages telling me something was up with him.

I was left dumbfounded and questioning what I needed to take away from these experiences. Between my conversation with my friend, and my visual and video messages, I knew the divine was trying to tell me something significant. Yet again I found myself saying WTF? What are you trying to tell me.

Last night I said tell me in my dreams. Tell me about the near future. I dreamt of him, nothing else. I got to hear from him, and see him, and I was super happy about it, but his expression remained stoic. On the way to work I though about it. My conclusion was that it was one of two things, based on having experienced the reactions of others. My first thought was that he was playing the poker face, attempting to cover his true reactions to hide from the ramifications of what his reactions would mean. My second thought was the stoic face of melancholy depression, one that I fought years to learn how to hide behind a false smile. Either way my dream did not really provide any clarity for my messages the days before. I suppose that this is yet another notch on the patiently wait and see.

Regardless, that constant motion in my life continues, and now is no different. Off to find my sofa for the night and crash. A very tired, yet optimistic Treasa, hoping that perhaps the gaps in my understanding will find clarity on this night, both with my parents and with the boy. Regardless I still send love, it’s all I can do for now.

I Had a Dream.

Or Did I?

[Side Note: Still in withdrawal from my phone. Trying to use a laptop for all communications just isn’t working too well. Some things just aren’t possible, so I’m feeling a bit disconnected today, and hoping this post will help.]

This is really a story from a few days ago ( a little over a week ago maybe).

I debated even blogging about it, as I have no proof, it could really just be my mind playing tricks.

It started as a dream; Nathan made some kind of noise as he was getting up to prep for his route, it woke me. I felt compelled to “Go back” and finish what was started, so I proceeded to meditate in the wee hours of the morning to get back to the “Dream” and follow through.

Sitting on the side of the bed I had an amazing experience that I just don’t know what to believe or do with it. So, after mulling over it for quite some time, I’m just going to share it here.


 

I felt like I was dreaming….

There was a dog barking, not unusual, but when it’s close and continuous I tend to want to investigate. I got to the kitchen window facing the driveway and I see a medium sized brown and white spaniel at the end of the driveway with something in it’s mouth. I think ok, it obviously wants me to come out, so I did.

When I get to the dog, it drops what looks like a newspaper in my hand, and I think: oh honey, I’ve got tons of those. I pet the dog on the head and proceed to turn around to head back inside. The weather is warm, but it’s getting dark so I don’t want to linger outside.

As I turn around I see a line of Animals. Left, close to the steps to the house: a black panther. To the right in order of lineup, the female Mountain Lion (from my real-life close run-in months ago), a male Lion, Tiger, and a Brown Bear. I literally think “oh my, it’s like the circus threw up in our yard”, at which point the animals seems to multiply and they start dancing. I just stand Awestruck for a moment.

I realize that something is approaching from my far left, so I turn my attention to that. It’s the black panther from a moment ago, and to the panther’s side is a woman carrying a young girl, they look related.

*That’s when Nathan made the noise and I woke up. I entered meditation and focused on the last image I had of the panther with the woman and child.*

The Panther guided the woman and child toward me. I stepped toward them. I could see the woman looked very concerned, verging on upset. The girl she was holding looked much like her. I could see the girl had lumps on her legs that were discolored like bruises. The girl was very thin, sickly thin, and looked like she was weak. She was maybe about 8 years old. I walked toward them so they were still in the grass when we met. I said to the lady “Don’t be afraid, when a beautiful creature such as this acts in this way, they are trying to help you…. Is this your daughter?”

She replied “Yes”. I asked for their names and  the lady replied “I’m Anna and this is Suzie.” She paused and said that something weird had happened earlier, a hawk had blown on Suzie’s eyes. I explained that any time a wild creature acts in a seemingly gentle manner as that, they are trying to help. I explained that hawks have very good eyesight and perhaps the hawk was trying to bestow some of that eyesight on Suzie.

I asked Suzie if it was OK that I hold her for a moment. She replied yes, and I gently took her from her mom. I noticed mom was still holding a teddy bear and I asked Suzie if she wished to hold her teddy. She said yes and reached for it, but reached the wrong direction. I knew at that moment something was preventing her from seeing correctly. I asked Suzie if she was cold and she said a little. I said OK, we’ll wrap you up in a soft blanket.

We sat down in the soft grass and I covered most of Suzie with a blanket. I was sitting cross legged and had Suzie rest her head in my lap. I had momma sit at her feet. I asked Suzie if she had ever grounded before, and she replied that she didn’t know what that was.

I explained that grounding is connecting to mother earth for stability and strength. I continued to explain that grounding is very helpful if we are struggling to maintain balance in our awake time, or if we feel confused or like we’re going to fall. I added that once we’re grounded we can connect to God and pull the two energies together in our belly in centering, and that it is a very good thing to do to heal our bodies, bring peace to our mind, and feel comforted. I told her it’s a good thing to do that process every day.  I immediately thought to myself: I know how to do this, why don’t I do it for myself very often!?  I refocused and began to walk Suzie through grounding. I told her to put her feet in the grass and feel the cool grass blades tickle her feet. I waited a moment and asked her if her feet felt tingly, she said yes, so I told her to slowly pull that tingly feeling up her legs by clenching her muscles. I described it like pulling on a tug of war rope, but with her leg muscles. Every few moments I would ask her if she felt the tingly sensation reaching a certain spot: ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips,  belly button, tummy. Finally, I described where the solar plexus is, just below the rib cage in the middle of her belly, and asked if she could find the tingly sensation there. When she said yes, I replied good- hold onto that sensation.

I explained next that we were going to connect to God through our crown, or the top of our head. I said God’s energy feels very light and peaceful, like fluffy white clouds. When we stick our heads up in the clouds all our cares just seem to disappear. I asked her to do that and again gave her a few moments. I then walked her through the same process to pull that light airy sensation down her body into her: head, neck, shoulders, arms, elbows, forearms, wrists, hands, chest, ribs, and into the middle of her belly where she left the mother earth energy. When we got back to her solar plexus I asked her if she could feel the fluffy clouds mixing with the tingly earth, and she said yes it felt really good- warm and fuzzy all over. I said “Good, we’re ready to begin then. … I believe that the animals are here for you tonight. I love all of these animals, and they all have a space in my heart, but they rarely visit me, so they’ve come to help you, and they want me to explain.”

Panther walked up to the little girl and looked at her mom. I said “Panther is very strong and very patient, he’s very fast when he needs to be, but enjoys laying in the sun all day long. Panther is not afraid of anything in the world because he is the biggest and strongest in his world. Panther wants to give you some of that strength and patience, and is inviting you to bask in the sun every day like he does.” After I spoke the Panther sniffed the girl all over and licked her gently in several places, one of which was the leg area I’d noticed earlier. When Panther was finished washing her, he leaned over to her face and nuzzled on her cheek. He then turned to mom, and licked mom’s cheeks, touched his nose to her forehead and sat down in the grass to my left.

Next was Mountain Lion. I explained what I knew of this beautiful animal: “Mountain lion is much like panther in physical abilities and desires, but she is a very good momma. She will do anything to protect her babies and keep them safe. Her love for them is strong enough to defeat even the fiercest threat.  She likes to be alone at times, and is good at keeping an eye on everything from up high. She’s going to give you that love to protect you now.” The mountain lion then proceeded to do much like the Panther. She stopped over the girls heart, gently resting a paw on her chest and purring in the deepest most gentle big cat purr I’ve ever heard. While purring the mountain lion proceeded to rub cheek to cheek. After a minute she stepped back and sat next to Panther.

Next up was Lion. “Lion is the biggest and fiercest of all the cats, he is the king of his territory. Lion has little to no fear, and is a great leader. His strength radiates from him at all times, and everyone can feel that they must respect him. Lion is going to give you more strength and the ability to lead, so that one day when you are better you can do great things for this world. When you start thinking about what you want to do when you grow up, perhaps think about some type of leadership role that benefits animals.” The lion stepped  forth and with an open mouth proceeded to sniff and breathe on the girl. Lion gently touched her belly with his paw, and ended with a really big lick to her face. The girl giggled. Lion sat next to the others.

Tiger stepped forth. ” Tiger is also like Panther, but Tiger is very passionate, tiger always knows why she’s here and what her mission is. Tiger will stop at nothing to complete her mission and will overcome all adversity to do so. Beyond that Tiger has a great beauty, she knows her beauty and carries herself proudly. Tiger is going to help you know why you’re here, what to do, and how to show your beauty.” Tiger, purring the whole way, licked the little girl slowly from head to toe, and then proceeded to join the other big cats.

Finally, Bear stepped forward. I told her: “Bear is a whole different creature. She is a good mother protecting her babies at all costs as well. However, Bear knows when to rest, taking a very long rest each winter. Bear wants you to know that it’s OK to rest when you need it. Bear also knows that it is important to eat plenty of healthy foods: fish and berries and fruits and vegetables, bear will eat almost anything, but loves the bits that are both healthy and tasty. Her diet and her ability to rest are the things that give her such an intense strength enabling her to fight other bears and climb trees and swim long distances. She has much to teach you.” Bear came over and licked the girl several times in several locations. Then bear stood up and let out a fierce roar, very loud and very long. When bear was roaring she raised her paws in the air and at the end of the roar dropped down to earth hard and strong. It sent a beautiful light blue shock-wave of energy so strong that my actual body, sitting in my bedroom on my bed, felt the ripple. A ripple so intense I was nearly in tears. Bear nuzzled the girl and turned and nuzzled the mom, and returned to sit by all the big cats.

I took a long breath, taking in what had just happened. All of a sudden I just knew there was one more animal to visit with. I paused. Then I remembered the dog at the beginning of the dream. I looked around and didn’t see the dog, but could feel it. I waited a moment telling the girl that there was one more animal we were going to meet. When dog didn’t come forth I did the only thing that felt right, I howled like a wolf. Dog came trotting over happily and started licking the girl all over very excitedly. The girl started giggling and as the licking continued the girl started laughing out loud. I told them: “This is your dog, he has the heart of a wolf, fiercely loyal and a great protector, but the mind and body of dog and will be the most gentle and loving pet you’ve ever had.  He will be your sunshine when you can’t make it outside, and will cheer even the most down moments. He will give you a reason to get up every day and will take care of you with his every breathe. Every lick, every nuzzle, will carry healing energy. When this dog comes to you in real life know that he’s there for you and welcome him into your home.” I turn to momma and repeat that “When you see this dog in your experience, make sure he becomes a part of your family, it is very important you take him in when you see him. This dog will follow you both everywhere and will be a guiding force through even your toughest moments. His joy will keep you both afloat if you allow it.” The dog sat down next to the girl and rested his head on her tummy.

I began to wrap up. “I don’t know what the future holds for you two, but I know these animals felt strongly about helping you and providing some much needed and very intense healing energy. Every-time you find that you need a boost, you might be struggling or just plain tired, remember this  experience. It will bring all of those energies back into you for another bit of healing. Use the sensations you saw and felt here, to feel the energies from the animals. It will help you get through another day.”

I look directly into momma’s eyes: “Regardless of what happens, please know that you are being heard, that there is someone doing their best to help, and that even the animal kingdom did their best to provide healing to you and your daughter. You are loved and you are an amazing mom for putting your daughter first when she needed it most. I will continue to send prayers and healing energy for you both, and hold onto the dog. He will get you though everything.”

I paused to let everything sink in.

“I think it’s time you two return home. Panther will lead the way.” And sure enough Panther stood up and momma stood taking Suzie into her arms. The panther guided them off into the dark, and the dog followed at a slight distance.

I breathed a deep heavy sigh, and dropped my head saying a prayer that I hope I had done all the right things.



As I came out of the meditation I felt an overwhelming sense that I had communicated, so overwhelming I was in tears. I just knew that it wasn’t just a dream, and that I had done my best to do some good for someone out in this big wide world. I don’t know who Anna and Suzie are, or if that’s even their real names, but I do know that somewhere out there, there is a mom and daughter fighting a debilitating disease and I’m certain that they have prayed long and hard for healing. I hope that my experience made it through to them and that the animals really did provide healing. The only one I felt myself was bear, and that was because it was so vast and intense. Regardless, I felt like I communicated with animal spirits in a major combined effort to provide much needed healing. I have since sent Reiki to them many times, because every time I think about that experience it brings tears to my eyes.

I don’t know if the dog has shown up for them yet, but from having been at dog shows I knew it was a real breed. I looked up spaniels on Google and the one I saw in the experience was a Kooikerhondje (image courtesy of: DogBreedsPlus), which has a pleasant personality, great for a healing little girl. I really do hope that their dog comes to them, and that the healing form that experience is exactly what Suzie needed for total healing. Finally, I hope that momma reads this so that she knows it was real divine intervention. Sometimes we just need a little validation.

Many blessings to momma and daughter, and many thanks to all of the spirits that made the experience possible. I am willing and able to be your humbled mediator anytime. As Above So Below, So Mote It Be.