Tag Archives: shift

Turning point.

FYI: there will be images with nudity, if under 18 please leave or read with parental guidance.

Sunday through to yesterday, I fought like hell to even come close to staying buoyant. Yesterday was my son’s birthday and I was determined to have a good evening with him. I was fighting so hard to stay buoyant that I took a small amount of a THC to ensure his birthday was enjoyable. It floated me through until bedtime for kids and then I relaxed a bit on my own before sleep.

Now today I have been able to stay positive all on my own, no herbs. Yet, more than that, there have been 3 things that might have normally trigger a nose dive and it hasn’t. One was bad news from a friend about her lump, and I keep telling her to stay positive that it’s just a cyst. Then there was a phone call gone awry to my husband. After apologies and mutually settling down, we realized something is in the air. Calm followed.

Then right at 1:11 I looked at a song notification on my phone, it seemed to carry a negative message; something about closing the door. Anyway, I deleted it without even listening to the song and looking at the clock I said thank you to the angels. I realized that it is my door and the only one that can close it is me. I am leaving my door open, but only for those that are able to work their way up vibrationally and be honest and respectful and helpful.

Somehow, I feel like I’ve had a turning point.

Another moment that seems to validate that is my self image. I had a moment last night where I realized the self image I have been struggling with is because of having let my father’s words and opinions win when I was a small child. I was told I was fat, unhealthy, lazy and not good for anything. Beyond that I was told and shown repeatedly through his actions and media that only perfect women were beautiful. I logically know that both sides are inaccurate, but I have been having trouble knowing the truth for me.

Finally last night it was like it became clear. I had a mental flash of Alexander Cabanel’s “Birth of Venus”. I very familiar with it from having done a study of it in my art education. The message that came with it was that is what God intended for me to look like before all of the negative programming took hold. That is why I find that body type so beautiful.

So then I spent some considerable time searching the internet for similar women in a variety of fine arts. I saved all of the images in a folder titled “I am Venus” to use as a reminder of what my spirit really wanted me to look like.

Here are those pictures, starting with the trigger image:

At this point, I’m know my body is not there, but I am so much closer than I used to be. I know it is within reach, and a little patience and focus is all I need. What I am grateful for is the knowing that this was my intended body all along. Even more gratitude is felt because it is a widely accepted body type. This body type has been considered beautiful for eons, enough to be in art of all types.

It feels really good to know that my higher self wanted me to have this beautiful body all along, and now that negatives are beginning to clear from my brain for real, it is more and more in reach.

I’m not sure what exactly has shifted, but I am very grateful for the shift and the eliminating of negative memories and programming in my brain and cells.

One moment at a time I am making progress. One step at a time I am leaving behind unhelpful attitudes and vibrations.

Finally, after my self-image revelation I had another revelation about my father. I must focus only on the helpful version of my father. I suspect I know what that will translate into, but it is the only way to prevent the negative from deflating me again. I must focus on him having accepted me wholley and completely, being supportive of my love Nathan and our children. I must focus on the positive side of anything I have ever thought about him. That is the only way to ensure his negatives bounce off of me, and eventually will actually equal helpfulness from his spirit.

To that end, I’m waivering on whether to release my blog to public again. I may spend another couple of days focusing and maintaining my higher vibrational alignment before I resume my normal. I hope those that really cared but didn’t reach out will have patience and understanding for my withdrawal.

May you see the good in everything. May you have patience during this heavy time of transition. May you see the beautiful person God intended you to be. May you find a way to align with the best of everything. May you love yourself and have patience with yourself beyond everything else. May you find a way to keep the negatives at bay and eliminate old negative programming from your brain and cells. May you see your progress and know that you are doing what is best for you without harm to others. May you find progress and help others along the way. May you know that God loves and supports you.

Siva Hir Su

New Perspective

My quote from Abraham this morning comes on the heels of a discussion with Nathan about how I’m changing my perspective on food.

“When you are in vibrational harmony, your body produces whatever it needs to remain in perfect balance.”

-Excerpted from Boston, MA on 10/20/96
Our Love,

Esther
(and Abraham and Jerry)

So the discussion was last night, and essentially I explained that I had been noticing a trend where people in general, but especially younger people- babies and children, are experiencing the same patterns I have with food.

I have also noted many people talking about a shift happening in humanity. Often from different perspectives and on different topics (politics, socio-economic, healing, diet, etc ).

Putting two and two together, my theory and change in perspective has broken down to the following.

Making the assumption that the shift is real, and pervades all areas of our lives, one would have to acknowledge that mankind is changing. Abraham states that forward momentum is to higher vibrations. So human kind as a whole is shifting to a higher vibration.

Food Allergies then could be interpreted as the resistance against mooving towards that higher vibration with diet and healing. It is the result of being more sensitive to the energy and vibration that food carries. If your body has already acknowledged that it wants to keep up with the shift, and knows what level of vibration that equals, then it is going to really push back every time you give it anything less than what is desired. Thus, you become “allergic” to lower vibrating foods.

Now what:

So then one (especially Myself) must admit the dissonance and focus on the solution. In my case with food, that has become repeatedly acknowledging that I am now hyper sensitive to foods and my body only wants the highest vibrating foods in just enough quantities to sustain myself.

Once I allowed myself to keep up with me, and focus on that repetition, it’s as if the battle is not as hard. My body is beginning to shed toxins and inflammation is backing off, I’m feeling much better physically. It has also made sticking to my regimen easier to stomach, so to speak (double entendre intentional).

I am back to my nibble of super healthy food every couple of hours. Nuts, apples, pears, lean plain meats- mostly fish or chicken, and far more salads in my experience with the deep dark greens.

I’m also referencing being very sensitive to foods now, instead of talking about my allergies or being allergic. I just say I’m very sensitive to foods and so I’m extra careful most of the time in choosing what I eat.

The Fall:

Now, that has not eliminated the social environments where food is provided and heavily encouraged by others. Anya’s birthday last week was a good example. However, my new perspective has still helped. Essentially, I apologized to my body in advance and explained to myself that one meal was not going to kill me, that I did enjoy the tastes of the food, and social atmosphere and supporting Anya. I also spoke to my body, stating that I know I’m capable of eliminating the toxins. I talked myself though reducing the reaction and speeding up the corrective process.

Additionally, I reinforced for myself that I know if I were more in control of the moment I would have chosen an alternate option for the meal, but I was conceding to another’s choice and control because I wanted her to enjoy her birthday- it was her day of honor however she would choose. That was solely due to how much I care for her, and is something I’ve gotten more selective over as well. Not just anyone gets to persuade me to make low vibration food choices anymore.

I also took extra allergy medicine preemptively to help with reducing my experience of the reaction. It all helped, it did not eliminate the reaction, but did significantly improve it in terms of duration and severity.

After the fact, I told myself it’s not a lifestyle that I want to live, so better choices are definitely better. However, it was manageable and I do have the tools and information to make the climb back up the health ladder to vibrate higher again more quickly.

I definitely did not enjoy the aftermath, I did however enjoy the meal itself (sans my son’s antics) and also enjoyed knowing that I accomplished the correction quickly and easily. 1 step backwards, but 2 steps forward this time. That I like as well.

So, my new perspective brought some peace of mind and acknowledgement that I myself am improving and heading toward higher vibrations. I’m allowing me keep up with ME more. That feels really good.

On a side-note update:

My dreams of giving birth and dieing have subsided. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20, and I realized it was solely because of the activities job. The last 2 days there I kept telling myself, not my baby anymore, because the trainee had done things in an odd way. I realized that I had given so much of myself to that position that I literally felt like I was losing myself and my baby.

Having cleared the other side, I’m still intact. I’m still me, and I still have my dream of Atira. One day I will discover my solution to build Atira and keep myself healthy and keep my family cared for. For now, I am still helping that surrogate baby by filling in on paperwork and calendar tasks. I still walk away with a much fuller knowledge of the workings of a community that size. I still have improved myself and gained knowledge. Now I can relax a bit and recuperate and heal the damage from the stress and my diet during that period.

I am supported by the universe and I am safe. And twice this week I’ve been told by different sources that Archangel Michael is watching over me to ensure that stays true. I take that validation with a huge Thank You to the Divine. I’m very appreciative that things are still improving and that I have evidence of support from the universe.