Tag Archives: success

Callibrating to well being.

Someone read a post of mine recently-“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” (stats gave me the post, but readers are anonymous except for country of origin). It was from 2.5 years ago, during a very rough patch when I had just conceived Katherine. Rereading the post myself I realized how much further I have come.

As I’ve said many times before, I’m not perfect, but I am aiming for better. I am reaching for improvement daily. I still don’t understand everything, but I do appreciate that I am, generally speaking, in a much better place.

Last night I felt relief when I was able to christen my home office by treating Nathan to a real massage. I fulfilled a promise made 45 days ago. It was long over due, being his last actual massage was nearly a year ago, and when he finally sat up he thanked me. He said, that’s why your clients love you, you turn them to jello. He never really regained brain function, going to bed about an hour after I finished the massage. I knew I was successful in getting him to really relax.

Today I was fortunate enough to spend some of my usual work day with my kids at the homeschool Valentine’s Day party. It was good fun with lots of sugar, running and screaming. I had given kids allergy medicine before leaving, but I wanted to set a good example. In a nearly 3 hour window I stuck to mostly fruit and had 3 bite size cheesecakes (sans crust). Not perfect, but far from where I have come. I literally had a conversation with myself when the addiction started nagging. I told myself to walk away because even though my mouth loves it, it’s really hard on the rest of my body.

Nathan again was there by my side congratulating me. He reminded me of how many of those functions I completely failed and that several times I only made it 15min. Not only did I nearly make it through, but my cheesecakes were the least addicted item I could have chosen. I literally picked the least detrimental option.

I’m so getting there. One little increment at a time. My body may or may not ever show the changes I’ve made, but I’m proud of my small miracles of accomplishment. I feel so much better every time I have a win like that. I wish that for everyone.

I will keep reaching for my well-being, I will keep calibrating to better. For me MC Yogi has been a lifesaver, especially his track “Ganesha (Sound the Horn)”. I keep replaying several of his tracks to stay buoyant, but one line from that track has become my own mental mantra: “Return into the essence and set yourself free”. It literally lifts my vibration just repeating it over and over in my mind. I am utterly grateful for that.

May you all find your magic mantra. May you all feel moments of personal success. May you all experience the little miracles at work. May you have your moment of known improvement. May you find what you seek and be solution oriented. May you acknowledge your self and express gratitude to yourself when you have the little wins. May you genuinely appreciate yourself and your divine connection.

Siva Hir Su

Oh my, now what?!

This weekend brought a few hours to spare, and much unpacking and situating, even quite a bit of construction.

Saturday late-afternoon and evening I tackled our living room and I was able to get about half of it unpacked. I of course started with the prettiest and most meaningful parts to our experience. It meant that when I ran out of steam our living room was a beautiful spread of 2 altar spaces lit with glowing candles. One is the fireplace mantle and the other the top of the big bookcase. Before (in the rental) I had everything tightly organized onto just the bookcase, it worked, but I’m appreciative that I now have the extra mantle space. I feel it better serves the delineation between the different divine archetypes we work with. It felt very good to get the energy flowing in a very positive way again.

I also managed to get many (not all) of our pictures and family keepsakes hung. I sat with Nathan and Kids and had a long moment of tired but very satisfied appreciation. I was very grateful for this new home.

I was only slightly concerned that my inability to keep moving meant none of our books or important paperwork was dealt with. That will be dealt with in due time.

After my moment with family, I crashed for a good night’s sleep. I even ended up sleeping in a bit the next morning. I tried to get up at my usual time, and decided to do a meditation. My meditation ended with a cat curling up on my lap and then I dozed off again. I was reawakened by the same cat knocking the bouquet Nathan had gotten me, off the mantle. The adrenaline rush of jumping into action to clean up the puddle launched me into my second “day off” of action.

The rest of Sunday was a comical trip to Home Depot to purchase the carpet that Anya finally picked for the flooring of her room, and the following construction labors.

Home Depot is NOT my favorite hardware store, but it’s the closest one to our new home, which was vitally important for the purpose of the trip. It took me forever to find someone to cut the length of carpet I needed, but once complete and checked out they were nice enough to help load it into our car.

That was the comedic moment. See we drive a little red 4 door Mazda Prot├Ęge, And the carpet was a 12 foot long roll. I had to make the trip alone because the roll was slid in from the trunk all the way up to the front dashboard. Slid is an over simplification, more like shove, adjust, shove, adjust, repeat until it was in as far as possible. They sent the youngest teen boy to help and he was strong but not great at understanding what I needed of him. When all was said and done we got all but 4 feet of the roll in the car. I hung the appropriate red flag from the end and drove home with the trunk open to 28 degree weather.

Once home it was almost as comical to get the carpet out of the car and downstairs to Anya’s bedroom. The staircase is just inside the front door, but faces the bathroom and thus required bending the carpet roll to turn the corner into the bathroom.

Regardless, we succeeded and carpet was eventually installed.

Before putting the carpet down I did the drywall patch on the superfluous doorway and laid the carpet pad. I also installed two doors with appropriate framing. After the carpet was down and trimmed properly, I trimmed out her baseboards and doorway. The following pictures take you through that journey, from where the room started to when I finally ran out of steam.

Literally the only 4 things left for her room are: door kick-plate, door threshold strip, re-painting, and unpacking.

She was hesitant about the room initially, but as I figured it was because it was incomplete. Now she’s super excited since it looks and feels like a bedroom suite.

I do still have trim left to complete in her little half bath, and a few other odds and ends, but the most intense of the desired construction stuff is complete. It feels good to acknowledge that 2 weeks from close, the biggest chores have been tackled and completed. At this point we just have lots of boxes to sort and put away, some of which were in long-term storage so Nathan has already started a big box for donation items.

And today is Tuesday, the first chance I’ve had to write since then. It’s also the first chance I’ve had for serious self-care in about a week. SO, I’ve done cupping on my arms to get functionality back. I was seriously tight and sore from all the heavy work both in office and at home. My skin has soaked up 8 ounces of Mag-ahol, and post cupping I’m doing lots of arnica to take out the “attacked by octopus” look.

May you all have time to spare, speedy progress, and successful ventures in all respects. May you feel satisfied and appreciate your home. May you feel the gratitude of things going well, and see positive changes in your experience. May your tired be well earned and followed by ample rest and rejuvenation. May you have many blessings and much love.

Siva Hir Su