Tag Archives: walk

And so it begins…

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HAL has begun sending me things to reinforce my last post. One of which is the following:

How to Move On: What It Really Means to Let Go: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-move-on-from-the-past-what-it-really-means-to-let-go/

I guess I will never understand fully because letting go and focusing on love seem to be the bigger message. I still wish I had some understanding.

Anyways, in moving on, I had a really good time today with 2 different co-workers during downtime.

I took a walk with the office manager and we had a really great conversation, with some much needed emotional release for both of us. Plus it helped me reach my step goals today. I was very appreciative of that time all around.

I also got to play a couple of games of “Magic the Gathering” with the one chiropractor. It’s a game I used to play with the brother that’s closest to me in age. It has been …. let’s see…. since early 2003 that I’ve played. That’s 16, almost 17, years. Wow!

I still have my cards from back then, but so much has changed that the new decks are much better, so he has been encouraging me to use his. I feel like I’m starting from scratch and completely relearning everything. It’s so fun though. I totally lost big time- on both games, but still enjoyed every bit of it.

I am so out of practice that the strategy feels over my head yet, but I get the concept. The layering of steps and which cards work better in what order can be very complex. I literally had a card in my hand that I’d been holding for several turns, but forgot to leave myself enough mana(land) to use it and it cost me the one game.

I enjoy learning so much though, and it is definitely a fun kind of learning, so it literally made me giddy at one point. I felt like I got silly hyper with the fun. That was a very much needed distraction from my previous focus.

As for learning: I’m still working on hindi and telegu in my spare time, but since I have no idea why God nudged me to do so (especially since I’m letting go of that person) , it’s at a very relaxed pace. I’m getting to where in hindi I can pick out letters and sound out words even though I know very few translations. Telegu I know more translations, but have fewer of the characters memorized. It’s merely a symptom of the different apps and how they teach languages. I like Duolingo and Drops, which both offer hindi, but neither offer telegu. The telegu apps are much less sophisticated, but still get the job done.

I’ve also begun the slow tedious process of becoming an approved continuing education provider for massage therapy. Essentially, the easy part is proving my qualifications to teach a handful of courses by documenting I have so many years working using said techniques, I also have a bachelor’s degree, which though they would prefer it to be related (a BS), it doesn’t hurt. Once I do that easy step, I literally have to follow rules and write my own curriculum which can be no more than 30% cited source material. Finally, once I’ve written everything, I can apply by submitting my CV and courses for approval; of course paying the appropriate exorbitant fees. They really try to dissuade people from becoming providers: can’t have too many teachers and too few students you know!

I’m not intimidated by the process in the least. Their basic calculation is 1200 words equals a credit unit. That’s a blog post for me, so I’m guessing I’ll have more trouble pairing down or figuring out how to subdivide my topics for multiple related courses. However, after having written the operations manual for my previous position, I’m certain I’m up to the task. It’s more about convincing myself to do the free work knowing that eventually I’ll recoup the benefit in paid courses with students in multiplicity.

I’m also contemplating the investment of a site where I can host web-based courses. Essentially, the text/testing coursework can be provided via web interface without practical hands on CE hours. Ultimately that helps spread the information side, but the CMT loses access to the extra CE’s for the hands on practicals. It’s a lower cost solution for both parties, but longterm it would benefit me as the provider more. It’s a huge up front investment, to also have to market like crazy, but longterm reaping significantly higher benefits. Ultimately, it will happen, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the investment side just yet. I’ll contemplate web platforms and do the math several times during my writing phase of this momentous step, and make my final decision during the application process.

Long story short, I’m having fun and learning and inching toward another significant step of improvement. All by my not-so-little own self. I feel like screaming “HA, Take That World!”… but alas I know no one would really truly care anyway. So, I’ll keep my ‘I win’ moment to myself, and relish that I know I’m the only one that gets credit for digging myself out of a decade of hardship…. me and God that is.

May you all have happy dances of overcoming obstacles. May you find kindness around you and moments of connection with others. May you find joy in continually learning and ways to share what you’ve already mastered. May you see God’s grace and support guiding you through all of life’s moments toward brighter futures.

Siva Hir Su

A lost twin?

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Apparently due to my lingering symptoms, things that aggravate them, and things that alleviate them, my midwife thinks that my miscarriage may have been a “lost twin”. It’s apparently fairly common, and she’s not concerned in the slightest (or at least as she seemed to me) she does have a really good poker face.

Essentially, she thinks I’m still pregnant and has instructed me to act as such until we can get bloodwork completed. 2 rounds approximately 2 days apart. The results will tell us for sure. HCG levels drop, it equals one miscarriage, and I’ll stick it out until symptoms go away. HCG levels rise, I’m still pregnant and proceed to develop healthy baby.

I was supposed to have round 1 drawn today, but she was called to a birth. So, I wait to hear back from her, and will probably get drawn tomorrow. That means I’ll have results by early next week at the latest.

So, I’m eating every 2 hours, small quantities of extremely healthy foods. The nausea comes in waves if I wait too long to eat, or if I eat a known food trigger. My sugars are good, but not the perfect I shot for with Ian, I will do better. I know part of it is because I’ve slipped on my exercise regimine.

So, to begin to solve that problem, I’ve taken an hour walk in Antioch Park. It’s a very nice city park in Overland Park, Johnson County, KS. Walking trails, playground equipment, a play size old west town, fountains, flowers, and benches & pavilions galore.

I took lots of pictures. I love the birds, and Lily pads. It was very relaxing (much needed for my current stress levels), and a great way to get today’s exercise in. One object stuck out for me, a metallic S or 2  shaped balloon that seemed to be for a dog (bone at the bottom), it definitely caught my Ooo Shiney reflex, but I wondered if it was a message in my version of this giant illusion. Who knows for sure, right!

So my pictures:


This (below) was my second heron in a little over a week. Remember the Great Blue Heron from the not back to school picnic. Well this is a young adult male Green Heron. & the last pic where he’s on the grate, he flew over to sit near me, the grate was about 15 ft from me, and after sitting a long while watching each other, I stood and inched closer getting about 4 feet from the grate, maybe 8 feet from him. I told him thank you for letting me get close enough for a good picture.


I rather enjoyed my walk through Antioch Park, and especially the bit of time I sat enjoying my bird friend and all of the nature. I’m feeling much better and less stressed. I think everything will be OK, regardless of the test results.