Tag Archives: willpower

Already on the bus.

So I’ve finished reading “The Energy Bus” and realize now that I’ve already gotten my bus going. It’s been a slow start, bumpy ride, with a few breakdowns already, but my bus is generally pointed the right direction and moving.

Really I’ve been driving my bus for a while, but just need more focus and helpful passengers

I have my committed passengers, in for the full ride- my family by marriage and by giving birth.

I have my semi-committed or part time riders, people in my daily and work life that are generally as helpful as they can be, but can’t necessarily stay for the whole ride. Sometimes they’re on and sometimes they’re busy on their own bus.

I have at least one passenger, maybe 2 or 3 that I’m hoping are like the character Michael. Where they removed themselves, but ultimately come around, and end up finding themselves wanting to make positive changes too, and join my bus again. That would be nice, not just for my bus, but for them- their state of being- and because it will validate messages I got what seems like forever ago. May we all master only feeding the good dog.

So far I’ve already ejected a few of what was termed “Energy Vampires” from my bus, and there’s one big one that needs to go yet. Fortunately, those from my biological family have mostly removed themselves from my life, so that’s one less hurdle.

With all that being said, this book leaves me acknowledging I have steps to go yet.

I have used this blog to write about Atira many times, but it’s scattered through multiple posts and partial posts, and I’m not sure I’ve ever reinforced the entirety of the complexity of that to those on board my bus, even if part time. I think it would help to get more concise with my desires, vision, and focus so that there is one document I can reference. Maybe even to give them copies.

I still have a ways to go to ensure I’m only feeding the good dog, and fueling my bus with positive energy. I have the basic idea, but have some practicing to do to maintain it, because I do let fear and stress get the better of me frequently.

Also, I totally spend too much time worrying about people that don’t get on my bus. I will get better at acknowledging maybe it’s too soon for them or they have other reasons for not joining my route. It’s not personal to me, it’s personal for them and their journey.

Additionally, I still have a ways to go on demonstrating my own enthusiasm and love. I already do both, but often allow myself to be easily deflated, especially when my efforts go unnoticed, unacknowledged, or unresponded to. Then once I’ve been deflated, I definitely still struggle to get back up and give another go.

I also need to find my purpose in everything better. It’s easy for me when what I’m doing is part of my vision for Atira, but much much harder when my task-at-hand is seemingly unrelated. That is evidence of not fully knowing that “everything happens for a reason”. I must trust more and find how everything relates. How does what I’m doing fit with my journey and fuel my bus.

Lastly, a huge must: start having more fun and enjoying the ride more. It’s not that I don’t at all, but I really succumb to stress easily. I’m latching onto the books’ phrase “you can’t feel stressed when you feel blessed”. That is my biggest new goal. To be “too blessed to be stressed”.

With that I wanted to share the list of rules the book went over:

And finally, I wanted to share an Abraham Lincoln quote (below) from the book that really resonated with me. My life journey fine-tuned to that direction after the online stranger woke my dreams up in me. I realized I may fail, I may never actually get there, but giving up all together- ignoring who I’ve become- is far worse than failing. I must remain true to who I am and where I’d like to go, if I’m to ever find consistent happiness and have any chance at all of possibly making it there. I want my light to shine bright from here until my dieing days.

Again, thank you for hanging in with me and joining at least the written part of my ride. I sincerely hope you benefit from my words in one way or another.

Even healthier.

So despite my physical size,  I think I’m now healthier at this point than 90% of America. I actually had a person tell me yesterday I’m not consuming enough calories. I had to remind them that it’s all relative.  I’m not starving, I’m not hungry despite consuming 500 to 700 calories on a good day, and about 1000 to 1200 on a bad day.

There are 2 factors for me that qualify this low calorie intake for me personally. 

1) On a good day everything I’ve consumed is green or Salmon(occ. other lean meats)- very low calorie yet high nutrition. 

2) Having low thyroid function and intentionally weening from thyroid meds (so I don’t have to spend my whole life on them),  means acknowledging a slow metabolism. The fewer calories I consume means my body can avoid expending energy through digesting and actually burn fat to create energy. It also can still devote lower energy resources to other body & brain functions. This ultimately means eventually I’ll loose weight, but I can still function normally. It may take me much longer to loose weight than someone with normal thyroid function,  but my body isn’t busy using vital resources to process foods that might also contribute to the damage already done. 

I know that this is accurate for me by the way I feel.  I’m on the lowest dose of thyroid meds yet, and I’ve been taking meds for 2 years. However,  I still feel 10 times better than I  did when I was first diagnosed. I’m not hungry when I drink my green drinks & eat veggies; but when I stray & eat things I shouldn’t, I find that I have an insatiable hunger:  my body is craving the missing nutrients. 

For example let’s look at today’s intake: 

Drinks a plenty,  seaweed snacks,  3 chicken sausage (breakfast)  and 1 salmon jerky bar (lunch). I just finished my bar and I’m feeling full,  credit goes to the drinks,  so let’s look at those. 

Left to right

1) 12 oz bone broth (with my chicken sausage for breakfast)…. apparently this is the miracle drink for healing digestive damage, and so far I would concur,  my body loves it.

2) 32oz green tea with magnesium and iodine drops added

3) 30 oz green tea with Amazing Grass Raw Reserve powder, magnesium,  iodine, and colloidal silver added. 

4) 30 oz water with 3 Tbsp Braggs apple cider vinegar, Stevia, amazing grass again,  & iodine drops

5) 1L- my tea blend (peppermint,  nettles,  raspberry leaf,  spearmint, rose hips, anise, fennel, catnip, and a few other supplemental herbs), amazing grass powder,  magnesium, iodine, colloidal silver,  Stevia 

6) 1.5L of same mix as #5

So as you can see, very high nutrition drinks.  I spend a lot of money to essentially drink super healthy pond water free from bad bacteria! 

Why so much magnesium? My body goes through magnesium like crazy.  I don’t know why,  I just know it does.  I take 6 cheap magnesium,  use A Mag-A-Hol roller, and still put drops in my drinks.  If I miss either the roller or the drops I can take 9 cheap magnesium supplements a day before digestive ramifications occur. That’s A LOT for the average person. If I don’t get  adequate magnesium: inflammation, headaches, and muscle cramps run rampant in me. It’s a whole lottta not fun.  I’ll stick to the magnesium thanks. 

Side note: magnesium requires adequate calcium in your system to absorb properly.  I drink nut milks naturally high in calcium- regularly enough to get a decent amount. Green veggies also have calcium.  Additionally, I take a multivitamin probiotic, and a standard multivitamin to ensure adequate absorption.  The last thing I want is my body leeching my bones of calcium just to take up magnesium. 

I also take way more iodine than doctors recommend,  but  again I feel better and many things function better (especially my brain)  when I’ve had enough iodine. When I don’t,  I may as well be sleeping, because without my iodine- watch out!

My nutrition is through the roof compared to your average Joe. It’s what my body wants,  likely because it’s what is needed to heal damage. So hopefully in a year or two I can say with confidence: “I have  perfect health”.

Now as I’ve said,  this takes massive  willpower, and more often than not I avoid food altogether rather than fight my brain on “I shouldn’t eat that”. It’s not that I don’t eat ever,  but after the last bout of allergy reactions,  I’m seeing that it’s much better to do nutrients over tasty goodies. So my fall downs are less and less every day,  & I’m even figuring out how to keep myself from bored or emotional eating. There  are still those 1200-calorie-bad-food-choice days,  but they are much less plentiful of late.  I’m feeling much better with each passing day.

My self-reward for this is I’m getting my tattoo touched up on Saturday.  I’ll post the results ASAP!